Public Displays of Dominance/submission

Exposing who we are as Dominant and submissive around people who aren’t party to what we do is dangerous and inappropriate. They have not consented to be party to a scene by anyone. But when it comes to D/s it is who we are and so it can be displayed without harm for those witnessing it if we keep it discreet. There are ways to come across as ‘normal’ but be far from it.

The gentlemanly nature and chivalry is dying, but can be alive and whole in D/s relationships. All of these once normal manners can be used within a d/s exchange. Things like holding doors, pulling out chairs to sit, ordering food for the other person and so on are all wonderful examples that can become D/s exchanges for either role.

The beauty of most ways we interact in public is that they are subtle enough to not cause notice by people unaware of who we are. No one may notice that I take care of paying the bill, converse with the service personnel or wait to get the okay before ordering soft drinks.

Since what we do is so subtle in public and not ‘obviously’ socially abnormal I don’t see it as an issue. We do play a game with ourselves and the servers. If they notice that I’m doing all the talking and direct the questions about Master’s food and preferences to me immediately (Does he want cheese on that? How would he like his steak prepared?) they get an extra tip. If they continue to ask him questions even if I’m answering them, they don’t.

For D/s munches and the like, at first I had many people believing that I was the Dominant. While the way we do restaurant service is different it isn’t unique.

I do find it rude to include others in our kink, and blatant acts of D/s in public are generally uncouth. There is an appropriate time and place for everything.

–luna