Here is my list of newly discovered blogs within the BDSM blogosphere! I have found them very interesting and enjoyable to read. I hope you will enjoy them and feel free to leave a comment or two. You just may find a new favorite blog!
Blood, Sweat, Tears
Collar’s Adventures and Journey
Dom-Free Zone
Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!
Are you a sex blogger? What do you enjoy about talking about your experiences?
Master and I spent a very long day with some great friends of ours in the BDSM community a week ago. It’s always a chance for me to behave and I seem to be more exacting about getting my rules right and obeying Master when other’s are watching. Generally I make him proud and the changes in my behavior for the positive are always good.
However I didn’t keep it up. At some point in the evening my mind shifted from what Master wanted to what our guests wanted and I started acting out. I even went on without listening to Master, not asking permission for things I normally ask for and being outright disrespectful. When Master called me on it, he pointed out that others in the room are watching my behavior and how I am acting and it wasn’t normal behavior for me.
It did make it more painful to be chastized in front of others with the knowledge that I’d be paying for it on my punishment day as well. I do not know what the trigger was for me to behave so poorly when I’m normally a good girl and I like to show off that I can follow my Master’s rules and make him happy.
Then again, that could be it. I like to show off. I’m an exhibitionist. I like to make people happy, I like to be the attention-getter. I’m not really a show stealer, but I do enjoy when I get recognized and when people are smiling at me and my behavior. For me to reflect so badly for Master was very disappointing for him and me.
I still feel bad about it while I know that I can correct the future and not allow it to happen. I will maintain my focus and Master will be the only one I have a need to impress.
I know that those that witnessed my behavior understood it, for I found out that one of my submissive friends picked up on it long before I even did and knew exactly what I did wrong as soon as I did it. I had to hear it from Master in order to know what I did. I was that clueless.
Another friend, a Domme that is in her first 24/7 relationship was watching intently and I hope that I didn’t give her a sense that Master doesn’t know how to control his property. He had me reigned in before the night was over, but I know that I could have behaved better.
I’ve been working on my thinking almost every day since this happened so that I can focus more on Master even around others when my main pull has been attention-seeking in the past. I need to make sure that the only attention I actively seek is my Master’s. His happiness needs to come before anyone else. Why it’s taken this long to realize this gap in my focus is not due to either of our lack of work. This is the first time in a long time that we have friends we see on a semi-regular basis that are lifestyle oriented. It’s great to finally have people that we can be normal around.
Impressions are very important to me, and that may be why there aren’t a lot of pictures of me on this blog in compromising situations. I want readers to get to know who I am inside and not concern themselves with my physical appearance or what activities I get into. I try to act appropriately around others and Master has worked very diligently to get me to be respectful and polite around everyone (something I didn’t learn at home).
I don’t need to earn praise or attention from others when the only person that really matters is my Master. His happiness in me is paramount to what others might think.
–luna
I’m looking for interesting blogs to read! If you have or know of an interesting BDSM related blog I’d love to have a look myself! Share it in the comments please.
–luna
From Submissive Journal Prompts: When was the last time you were punished? How have things changed since then?
First I should remind readers that I define punishment and discipline as different things. In this post, I’m talking about punishment.
The last time I was punished was well over 2 years ago. I hope to never have to go through that sort of punishment again. I seriously thought that I had failed Master so miserably that he was going to release me, and he did admit that he had considered it. I atoned for my transgression not only with the punishment of 30 days of hardship, but for months to come as I rebuilt my Master’s trust.
Things have changed immensely for me and my submission as well as the relationship that has come out of it. I’ve not only earned his trust back, but I now wear his permanent collar and have for 18 months. I feel deeper in my submission than I ever have and my progress with training presented to me has been great. This blog has a large archive of my history and anyone who is a long time reader can see how I have progressed and changed. I’m proud to say that I’m feeling more submissive than I thought possible.
Now, if we talk about discipline, I’ve been disciplined more recently. Master has a black book that he writes my transgressions in and on Sunday evenings I atone for them. When I do something wrong, he will say, “That’s going in the book,” and then I know I’ll have to pay for it later. This has been nice because I can apologize immediately and not feel the guilt of just being disciplined for the action. It all happens on one night. For really bad set backs he uses the cane (we do not play with the cane, it is punishment only). Other issues are resolved with corner time or some other idea he hasn’t given me yet.
Last Sunday, not yesterday (I was good last week), I got 20 cane strokes for my behavior over the weekend. I practically lied to Master while shopping one day. I violated a huge rule with that one. Will I never learn?
–luna
Meditation Monday is for me to be able to see my relationship through your eyes. I do hope to get questions or thoughts so that I can continue to journey. Please feel free to comment here with questions, or if you want to be more private, use my contact page up at the top and email me. I’d love to know your thoughts and hear your questions.
I’ve been trying to make the new apartment feel more like home so that I can settle and love the environment I have set up. Part of this for anyone desiring a home feeling is good curtains. Curtains bring out a character of the home and it’s occupants. Visitors are going to notice the curtains when they visit. I feel it’s very important to have lovely curtains in a house to make it a home.
Master thinks otherwise. To him they are ‘just curtains’ and can’t understand why after 25 mins looking at all sorts of curtains I still haven’t made up my mind on what to purchase for our living room. So many things run through my mind;
Should I do modern or traditional treatments?
Do I want a pattern or plain color?
What material would be easiest to maintain?
Do I want a double cafe rod or a traverse rod? Basic rod?
Should I have tie backs?
Are they opaque enough to not allow people to see inside when I don’t want them too, but easy to open to light when I crave that too?
How much do I want to spend on these?
What color do I want (the rest of the living room is silver metal and black so any color would be a benefit)?
So as I wandered the area where panels and valences, shams and rods all moved through my vision I could only think, “what would make Master happy?” I picked up several that I liked, but knew that he would not and he also confirmed this on a few options I brought to his attention.
“Just pick some, they are just curtains.”
They are more than window treatments and I just can’t convey in words what I mean by that. It must be a girl thing. The choice of the living room curtains is so important to me. It’s been a long time since I had a living room with more than one window in it. I want to bring character and comfort, a welcoming appearance and luxury to the space. The impatience he expressed and the pressure he applied to me caused me to not decide at all. We left empty handed.
I still don’t know what color I want or which style will prevail, but I will be out again later I’m sure because Master wants it done with soon so we can take the sheets down that are currently covering the windows.
Hopefully I can make up my mind for what will answer all of these questions soon.
–luna
Exposing who we are as Dominant and submissive around people who aren’t party to what we do is dangerous and inappropriate. They have not consented to be party to a scene by anyone. But when it comes to D/s it is who we are and so it can be displayed without harm for those witnessing it if we keep it discreet. There are ways to come across as ‘normal’ but be far from it.
The gentlemanly nature and chivalry is dying, but can be alive and whole in D/s relationships. All of these once normal manners can be used within a d/s exchange. Things like holding doors, pulling out chairs to sit, ordering food for the other person and so on are all wonderful examples that can become D/s exchanges for either role.
The beauty of most ways we interact in public is that they are subtle enough to not cause notice by people unaware of who we are. No one may notice that I take care of paying the bill, converse with the service personnel or wait to get the okay before ordering soft drinks.
Since what we do is so subtle in public and not ‘obviously’ socially abnormal I don’t see it as an issue. We do play a game with ourselves and the servers. If they notice that I’m doing all the talking and direct the questions about Master’s food and preferences to me immediately (Does he want cheese on that? How would he like his steak prepared?) they get an extra tip. If they continue to ask him questions even if I’m answering them, they don’t.
For D/s munches and the like, at first I had many people believing that I was the Dominant. While the way we do restaurant service is different it isn’t unique.
I do find it rude to include others in our kink, and blatant acts of D/s in public are generally uncouth. There is an appropriate time and place for everything.
–luna
Delano of Delanobound.com and ropedojo.com guest teaches to show a more complex variant on the classic hog-tie.
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything about all that is happening so… here goes nothing.
I’ve been working on eating better and it seems to be paying off. I’ve weighed everyday up till we started moving and noticed that my weight was slowly going down. I don’t know where I’m at now, and with it being my period week I doubt I’d have an accurate weight anyway so you’ll have to wait till next week to find out the results of my determination. Let’s just say that at last weigh I was down 5lbs. 
I’ve not been exercising, but with the move I am counting all the lifting, up and down stairs work as exercise. I’m also in charge of the unpacking and the cleaning of the old apartment so I have a lot of calories to burn! I’m certain that this is exercise, who moves everyday, huh?
We are not fully out of our old place yet. Seeing as we have until the end of the month we are taking our time. I hope to be done with the movement of things this weekend so that I have a week to deep clean the old place. It’s had 4 years of me living there, it’s going to need it. Hopefully I can keep the new place in better maintenance from the start.
I love the new place I’ll take some pictures maybe once we are all settled and happy. It’s about the same size as the old one but layout is different. The kitchen is huge and I’m really loving all the storage space I have there. The living room has wood floors and I’m very happy with that too.
I am however finding it hard to get adjusted to the new place. I can’t really call it home yet. I think it needs some personal touches before I can finally sleep fully at night and not wonder where I am, see empty spaces or hear sounds that I don’t recognize (being right on street level now).
One of the cats is taking about as long as I am to adjust. The past 2 nights he has howled and cried from 4:30am to about 6am when I’m getting up and moving around. He hides most of the rest of the day till I come home again and then I have a furry shadow till I’m in bed again at night. I hope he settles soon.
Work has been pretty stressful with the lack of proper sleep. I can’t keep my attention on anything long and that’s pretty detrimental to the fact that it’s a reporting week and I have more reports to do.
The craft workshop for our local munch group went well on Saturday. Several people showed up and made their first set of leather cuffs and they all turned out fabulous! The all look like the basic cuffs you can get at BDSM-Gear, but with heavier hardware and leather. It was a great time. I will be making these again and maybe this time I’ll make locking ones.
So, that’s about it from KM’s house, I’ll be back with more when I can!
–luna
Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!
How do you feel about marks left from play? What are your favorite\least favorite marks?
We are in the process of moving from upstairs to downstairs apartment. Update coming when I find available time. Love you all!
–luna
I came into this lifestyle community with one huge goal in mind: Accepting other people and their various kinks. At the time I was very new to the lifestyle, very new to my flourishing D/s relationship and very unsure of what I wanted as a Dominant, I knew practically nothing really.
So when I started attending munches I watched how people behaved and listened to them talk about what it is they do. For the most part it was, what I now consider, rather plain things like spanking, flogging, bondage. But some mentioned needle play, some mentioned knife play. Nobody has mentioned face slapping in front of me that I can recall.
Some of these activities I personally do not like, not one bit. Needles and knife play both have no place in my home, my life or even in my head as mere thoughts. Yet I didn’t shy away from the people who talked about them and participated in these facets of play. I wholeheartedly accepted them and embraced their interests as “it’s their kink and not mine and that is fine with me”. Even people who are polyamorous, a facet to relationships that grinds against my very soul, were accepted in my view of the kinky world and I managed to strike friendships with those who did this.
Now remember I said nobody has mentioned face slapping? After Thursday/Friday when myself and luna had experimented with face slapping she said “I don’t think we should tell anybody about this” which means only one thing around here: they (the people in the communities we are in) would not be accepting. After mentioning it to two people whom I trust I got the same response, don’t share it with the groups at large.
So at the end of this story I’m left wondering about the BDSM community. Not just here but everywhere. You want me to be accepting of your kink, to not judge you based on it. Do the same for me.
Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!
Have you ever been gifted a toy? What was it? How was your first experience with it?
My diet and exercise update isn’t full of progress I’m afraid. I’ve done more exercise recently than I have in the past but my eating is still out of control. I really need to reign it in and get under 1800 calories a day. The only way to do that is to go hungry sometimes. I’ve tried to avoid that in the past, thinking that being hungry was a bad sign but I’m just going to have to face the fact that there will be times when hunger means I drink even more water instead.
I’ve moved away from SparkPeople.com in favor for FitDay.com which I used in the past and had success with. If you want to keep an eye on me, here’s my public page: http://www.fitday.com/fitness/PublicJournals.html?Owner=lunakm I’m looking for some help with motivation, encouragement and perhaps a buddy. There is great encouragment going on in the FetLife Group for Healthy and Kinky people. I’m so proud that they are all there making changes in their lives. I’m thinking about leaving SparkPeople altogether since I run the FetLife group and feel more comfortable there. Only time will tell.
I’m up to 3 times a week exercising and hope to do 4 times this week. I’ve got one down and one tonight so just 2 more by Sunday I can do this!
–luna
Mara asks: When you think “romantic evening” with Master, what comes to mind? What’s been your most romantic evening, or what would you want to see for the future?
When I think a romantic evening with Master is usually entails going out to dinner, gazing intimately into each other’s eyes while we wait for our food to be served and having wonderful conversation. Coming home we are affectionate and cuddly, maybe watching TV or a movie. Maybe we have sex. Maybe we play. What’s important for me to consider it romantic is the intimate connection. The looks, the touching, the time we spend with each other.
We have a date night ever other Friday (payday). This is important to us because 1. We are out of food at home and eating out is a highlight of the end of the payweek and 2. we connect during this time after a week of working apart. It brings the weekend out for us.
I find the most romantic episodes don’t involve sex or play. Master can be very romantic and he likes to make sure my needs and desires are taken care of. I find that very sexy and romantic. We are both affectionate and loving and I enjoy sitting with him and being close more than anything else we do.
–luna
Meditation Monday is for me to be able to see my relationship through your eyes. I do hope to get questions or thoughts so that I can continue to journey. Please feel free to comment here with questions, or if you want to be more private, use my contact page up at the top and email me. I’d love to know your thoughts and hear your questions.
I had this sudden urge in me and I wanted to see it fullfilled. Just weeks ago I would have dismissed urges as just something I can live without. But not today. I wanted, no, needed this.
I turned to Master and asked him for a favor.
“Would you slap me Master?”
“What, like in the face?”
“Yes please, would you be able to?”
“I think I can accomodate that, come here.”
And so I approached very hesitant and part of me wondering what in the world I was thinking. He was really going to slap me and I was going to feel it.
He asked me if I was okay, that I looked hesitant and I felt it, I really did. But I was committed. He had me bend down to him and present my face. He took me by the chin and tapped lightly on the left cheek.
“Now are you sure?”
“Yes Master.”
He slapped me, not really hard but I could feel the warmth in my cheek. I giggled slightly out of shock and excitment perhaps. Then he slapped again and I shivered inside. I liked it a lot. he continued on my left cheek and then switched to my right. Oh yes I was feeling so very under his control. I wanted to kneel in front of him and declare my love and devotion.
It was a lot like when he pulls my hair. I feel so docile, so submissive and so very much in his control.
–luna
Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!
Do you work outside the home, and if so, does that ever interfere with your mindset? How have you resolved it?
I went to the Dr yesterday to find out the results of yet another round of testing. I do not have PCOS, nor do I have Cushings Syndrome. Yay me! I do have a low but not insanely low thyroid count so he is retesting and when he gets the results of that we will decide if supplements for thyroid is the way to go or if there is another avenue to explore. My blood pressure was down too! So all in all I’m healthy-ish.
I admitted that I suck at exercise, that it makes me feel icky and ill if I work to hard. It hasn’t always been like that. When I was exercising 3 times a week with a friend I felt great afterward and refreshed. I’m not getting the same buzz this time. Maybe it will take me awhile. I am to continue working towards 7 days a week exercise and report back to him in 4 weeks. He didn’t like that the exercise made me feel ill but feels it will improve with endurance.
I’ve gotten really lazy on SparkPeople.com. I’m not sure why I just don’t like going on there to do my food log or exercise log. Maybe it’s just too much. I have a healthy living group on FetLife now and perhaps I just need to find something else that works for me. FitDay and a separate blog worked well for me the first time, but each time I try to blog in a separate blog I just don’t know what to say. My health is so much a part of me and my role now that separating any part of me feels wierd, but I don’t want to bore everyone with my weight loss stuff. Should I continue sharing my diet struggles with you or find somewhere else for that?
I reported a while ago that we were looking to move and then couldn’t due to the flooding and the demand for rental housing after that. Well last Friday I noticed that an apartment on the first floor of the same building was now vacant and called the landlord. I got to look at it Saturday and they were happy to let me have it Sunday. We will be signing a lease this Saturday! Since it’s just downstairs we get to move in slowly and have till the end of the month to exit my old apartment. I also get a great deal on the first month’s (September) rent!
I’m very excited about it and driving Master crazy with ideas and thoughts about the new place, plans to move out of the old and so on. I’m sure he’ll be relieved to just be down there in a nicer apartment. It’s not bigger but it’s in a lot better repair and should make us happier to have friends over too. I’m not too thrilled about the size of the new bathroom as it’s just really a hallway size room with bathroom stuff in it. We will have a small shower which is good, I’ve missed showering. The kitchen on the otherhand is fabulous! It has 3 times as much counter space, lots and lots of cabinets and enough room for a small dining set.
Part of the move will be trying to simplify our lives more. As I’ve written earlier I taught myself to knit and have been making dish/wash clothes like crazy. I think more than 10 are now new and waiting for use. I’m going to make some more scrubby clothes and then hopefully move on to flour sack dish towels with embroidery on them. It’s these small things that make me feel good right now. I’d like to get to reducing waste at home, and budgeting better so that savings can increase, but those are huge jobs to tackle and I need a better plan. Moving will certainly help reduce the excess we currently have. Everything will go through a question process like, “When was the last time I used this?” “Why am I keeping it?” “Could I go without it?” Master wants to toss the Christmas stuff, but I’ve already trimmed it down once and I don’t want to toss the special ornaments that I’ve been hanging on to for when we have space for a tree again. You just can’t get those back.
Recap, I’m healthy, should be exercising more, moving soon and trying to simplify!
–luna
Greenwoman asks: Do you find yourself altering your behavior with each other at all in public settings? If so, how does that look? What are the differences?
If altering our behavior you mean by different than how we act in private then yes. I alter my behavior more than Master does. Master has noted that I become more obedient in public to appear the good submissive. I’ll follow all of my rules really well.
I think we are always more affectionate, but we keep the raunchy stuff under wraps in public. I love touching and being touched but we try hard to keep it to PDA accepted touches.
I call Master ‘Amo’ in public. I’m sure if Spanish speaking persons hear it, they know what it means but I’m pretty safe otherwise.
As I said Master tends to not alter his behavior. He’s naturally dominant but reserved so it doesn’t stick out like obvious kinky behavior would. I’m not naturally submissive so in order to not get into trouble all the time by being demanding or unsubmissive like I have to alter my behavior. Hopefully I do it discreet enough.
Meditation Monday is for me to be able to see my relationship through your eyes. I do hope to get questions or thoughts so that I can continue to journey. Please feel free to comment here with questions, or if you want to be more private, use my contact page up at the top and email me. I’d love to know your thoughts and hear your questions.
After 2 years we are getting cable again! I will be able to browse the channels, watch the shows we want to watch as they are on and I’m pretty happy with the deal we got. We are also switching to cable internet and I know that Master will be happier with the latency and his gaming.
I go to the Dr on Tuesday to find out what my most recent tests resulted in. I will have to admit to him that I’ve not been exercising at all and that it is detrimental to my weight loss. The new depression meds appear to be working just fine. I’ve not had any bad side effects.
I’m starting a 4 day weekend. I think I will enjoy my time off and find some fun things to do. I promised to Master that I’d be playful and we’d have a good time. Perhaps good enough to even talk about 
–luna