July 2008

You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2008.

Here is my list of newly discovered blogs within the BDSM blogosphere! I have found them very interesting and enjoyable to read. I hope you will enjoy them and feel free to leave a comment or two. You just may find a new favorite blog!

Mark Me D

Visiting my Muse

A Kind Dom

Her submissive puppy’s ponderings

The Mystress and the Paladin

this thing called bdsm

Kinky Aoefe

The Las Vegas Courtesean

Life With Bear

Lair of the Dragon Mage

Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!

If you could pick any celebrity to be your play partner for the day, who would they be and why? What do you see yourself getting into with them?

I'm on Twitter!

If you use Twitter to microblog, feel free to add me. I just joined up! You can also see my most recent tweets on the sidebar :)

lunaKM on Twitter!

You have to love it when someone has the guts to say something that really hits home for you. I’ve seen a lot of blogs out there with the submissive is pretty much whining that the Dom isn’t Dom enough and that they don’t give theme enough direction. Or the ones who say that they don’t punish them the way they think they should be punished, don’t play with them the way they want and don’t give them enough of what they want.

The Warren does a really good job at saying everything I would love to have the guts to say. It’s a two way street. You have to act submissive in order for the other to be more Dominant. It’s an exchange for a reason.

I know I used to think this way and I could probably go through this blog and find posts that sound just like what melly describes. I know I had issues with submitting and thought that he’d have to do more for me to do more. I don’t know when there was the moment of truth and I realized that I have to submit in order for this to work. I can’t be made to submit, it has to come from inside me.

I’ve talked about topping from the bottom before but mostly within a play session. Submissives can be forceful and controlling in everday experience. This can stem from perceptions that the relationship isn’t moving in the direction desired or things in life have gotten in the way of D/s exchanges.

I know from my experience, at first I thought that it was supposed to be closer to the fantasy I’d developed for it. The forceful, powerful dominant and the docile, willing, almost timid submissive. I saw submission almost forced at first. I’m not sure why I preceived it this way.

I can see clearly now that I have to have the desire to submit for the exchange to work, and I really do love to submit. I feel so good to know that he is getting the service he would like and I, in return, get the love and control I need. It’s taken a good long time to get to this point.

So, for the blogs that melly is describing, maybe they just haven’t hit that point yet? Perhaps, like myself they need that epiphany moment where things all fall into place. Or yet, they could have no clue what submission is supposed to be like and are trying to force it upon thier partners. I’d feel sorry for the partners.

A relationship is work, but it’s happy work. You work hard at what you want, not fight against what isn’t working. It’s that balance and maintaining that balance that makes things all flow correctly.

Does Master punish me the way I want? Of course not, but then that’s not my choice. I submit to his will, and if he choses to punish poor behavior than I must submit to that as well. I give him my service so that he can offer me the control I desire. See how that works?


“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.” -Marcel Proust

I’m at the point in my submission where the new experiences are few and far between and what I need to do now is see what I have in all of its facets and points of interest. I have a wonderful life that I’ve been living but I haven’t really reflected on it and seen it for what it’s really worth. I get told on countless occasions that I am so lucky to be living 24/7 and that only a fortunate few can really say that they are.

I’m not going to argue the point that you can live 24/7 or not, on whether you have to live with each other or not. These are all windows into someone else’s world. I can see why people say we are 24/7 and I tend to agree. Yes we live together, we have no children (except furbabies) and we can pretty much be ourselves all the time. We never lived as a vanilla couple, so we don’t slip into vanilla-space really. D/s is who we are. I like that.

24/7 isn’t all about frequent play and walking around naked or in collar and cuffs all the time. It’s about feeling true to your role all the time. I don’t ever ask for a break to ‘just be me’ because I AM submissive, that is who I am. I am happy with how my life is structured (and not structured). I like the teasing and pats as I walk by. Our play consists mostly of that sort of interaction. We don’t need to set up play times as often anymore.

Granted we do get the itch and love to scratch it, it’s just not what drives our relationship. Our commitment and love drive us nearer to each other. It’s just that simple.


Meditation Monday is for me to be able to see my relationship through your eyes. I do hope to get questions or thoughts so that I can continue to journey. Please feel free to comment here with questions, or if you want to be more private, use my contact page up at the top and email me. I’d love to know your thoughts and hear your questions.

Since I no longer have a blogging requirement I have wanted to keep telling my story, my journey, my explorations with myself. I’ve come up with something I hope to make a regular thing, like my Thursday Questions. (Maybe not every week, but still frequent depending on how helpful my readers are!)

What I’d like this to be are questions that you, my readers, have for me. They can be personal or more general in nature. I’d love to know what you are curious about.

If I don’t get questions I’m sure I can come up with things to think about but I’d really like to scratch your inquiring minds. I’d like to delve into my submission and I want your help :)

If you have questions, feel free to ask me in comments or send them to my email using the contact form.


PS: Any graphic artists want to make a 100×100 avatar with the words Meditation Monday on it for me? Something pensive would be kewl.

Fetish as a Fad

From FetLife Blog Prompts Group: Do you see the latest trend towards fetish wear and fetish jokes in the media as a fad? Is it a sign that society is accepting kink? Does it have cons as well as pros?

What’s your thoughts?

There is a lot of fetish appearing in media and it has a positive and negative effect on the lifestyle as a whole.

The Goth look with collars and leather and all black has begun to desensitize people. They aren’t shocked when they see collars and other items while walking around the mall. We are able to walk almost invisible in a lot of places because of this. Well, at least a lot of larger malls anyway. I live in a small town, it’s just not possible here yet. I don’t know a lot about Gothic lifestyle, but many of them are into BDSM activities also, but it’s not always the case. From what I can pick up they appear to work against society and not look for acceptance, the anti-norm.

The negative aspect of having more news items involving fetish aspects make what it is that we do seem really demented, dangerous and abnormal. It can turn open minded people against the whole lifestyle. I’ve seen enough bad media and ‘accidents’ reported that would make even the newest newbie a bit of caution. I have a feeling that some of what we see is because people are trying it out without all the information, maybe they saw it on TV or something. This is a double edged sword. It’s great to know that people are becoming open enough to explore kinky things in their bedroom and perhaps could be loving it. it’s not good that they are doing this without all the safety information on hand, they don’t know that there are other resources available perhaps and then something tragic happens.

The effect of BDSM as a fad might be along the same line as the 60′s when it was cool for free love, rock, drugs and peace. People think it’s cool for awhile, but it will fad and only those that still hold true to the desires they have will stay in the lifestyle in any level.

Spanking, bondage and other kinky adventures might be a fad in some areas, where it would be cool to fit in with your friends and so you try what you have heard others talked about. I really don’t think that this sort of idea turns into something serious very often. However it is possible that just trying something your friends talked about may turn you on to something that you never knew you had a desire to do.

The infestation of bad information online has me worried about the people who might want to take up a kinky activity. There is no way to police the internet but as long as we make sure to spread the good websites out there and make sure that we can keep the real information available it might help prevent an accident. I work hard on my websites to make sure that there is safety information or varied opinions on things so that hopefully people can form their own opinions.


Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!

What was your first D/s experience like?

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