Last week I wrote about my issues with exercise and dieting in general. After that post Master spoke to me about how he doesn’t like the depression I get into when I don’t do well with my diet. It was a difficult discussion for me because I knew that if I asked him to take over this part of my life that I was not going to like the result. Especially since we both know I work better off of punishment than rewards.
And I was right. Exercise is now a part of my rules.
- I must exercise at least 30 minutes every other day.
- Weekdays on an exercise day: I can not use my computer after work until I exercise.
- Weekends on an exercise day: I can not use my computer at all until I exercise.
- I can not skip a day. If I don’t exercise on the exercise day I do not get my computer access until I make the missed time up.
I don’t like these new rules at all and I can’t say whether I will survive safely. I’ve only been doing this since Saturday. Today is an exercise day. When I get home from work I can’t log into my chat or email until I have exercised 30 minutes. Yuck. My Master, the drill sergeant. And he knows exactly what will hurt to lose.
My diet on the other hand is a little bit good and a little bit bad. I’m watching what I eat and making smarter choices. I am not entering it into my food diary though. I wish I was. I’m eating some veggies, a little fruit and I’m trying to limit the sweets and snacks. I really am having a problem committing to the entire program. I’m terrified if Master gets fed up and decides to run it all. It’s just not what I want.
Now, I know I want to lose weight for my health. I am doing this for me and not for Master. He isn’t making me lose weight. He wants me healthy, that’s all. This excess weight is causing health issues that I need to control. Sooner or later I’m going to find the fight I need to get healthy. Could be today, could be tomorrow. It better be soon. I have goals.
Last week’s weight loss: 0
Weight to lose before Shibaricon 2009: 50 lbs.
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Hey hon… I just have to say that I think it’s great that your Master is stepping in to help you. :-S I have no doubt that Syr would think of doing something like this as well. As much as I buck against Her control over my healthy lifestyle/weightloss efforts, I also really NEED that kind of support. So it’s a win/win situation, really.
I now have to ask permission before eating chocolate/sweets. I’m supposed to exercise five days a week…. though it’s not been an official ‘rule’ as of yet…. meeps.
You totally can do this, and remember that it doesn’t take that long to build a habit, and if you can it will make a big difference!!
I can’t stand diet books, but have you considered taking a peek at the Beck Diet Solution? It is all psychology (it’s not a diet, you use it in conjunction with any reasonably healthy eating plan) and it helps you build the tools to make weightloss/dieting easier! I’m only on day 5 and it’s already making a HUGE difference. Yesterday’s task in the book was “giving myself credit” for all those little successes (like eating slowly, eating sitting down, taking the time to exercise, not letting one bad eating choice ruin the whole day etc etc). Today it’s being mindful and eating slowly (and not in front of tv or computer)… and each day you add one more ‘tool’. Good stuff.
Anyway, I know you can do this!!! *hugs*
alenas last blog post..Hard stuff
The short story is the constant diet depression hurts our relationship. I’ve been able to handle it so far but it’s a hard thing to deal with. So enforcing exercise really is a relationship saving measure right now.
Honestly luna, there has been part of you wanting your master to get involved. You have been struggling for quite awhile now and not able to establish a nutritional plan or regular exercise plan. You tried doing your own motivation with the reward of money every time you exercised. You have been clearly frustrated so I am glad that he stepped in. His exercise requirements will definitely push you and will help you establish a routine (which is exactly what you need). I suggest you pick an eating plan, track your food and go for it! You can do this luna – just have to put the first foot forward. ~hugs
Robins last blog post..Shades of Purple
Hey – You got your Drill Sargeant – yahhoooooo… that’s great news- even if you don’t think so at the moment! You are getting that little extra push – hey – and you will feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good once you get into the routine!!!! Hugs!!!! I am cheering for you! In the long run you are going to SOOOO REAP the benefits! All that wonderful energy and pride in yourself!!! Better get my own tush on the treadmill tonight!!!!!
babys last blog post..Thursday HumDrums – HNT
This is something I could see Jae doing for me someday. You can do it Luna! It’s a push in the right direction