So, my good intentions from last week’s weigh in didn’t go well. I haven’t done any exercise even though I get reminders in my mailbox every single day. I just end up deleting them after the day is up, knowing another is coming. I’m trying to figure out how to exercise at work other than walking around the building. I’ve found the 30 minute workouts here and will give those a go. I have lots of space near my desk and only 2 other coworkers in the room so I won’t be annoying to them.
As far as my diet goes I have good days and really bad days. I’ve been horrible with the food diary. I don’t know what it is about this whole diet thing that isn’t working this time. I lost 40 lbs before and now I’m struggling to lose any.
Could my desire be waning? Most likely but I still want to lose weight. I have goals, I have rewards set; I just never care enough to do the things to make it happen. I’m upset with myself for wasting time and not just doing it. I don’t have the valid excuses that every one else has. I have time after work, I don’t have children and Master would encourage me to keep going if only I’d start.
It has to be for me, but I also want it for him too. There are benefits to being smaller when it comes to bedroom antics and I’d love to be able to have more energy for them. It’s not fair to him, nor is it fun for me.
Remarkably I keep thinking that a drill sergeant is what I really need. I need someone to take the responsibility from me and just make me do it. Hound me until I do it and force me to work harder. But then, this wouldn’t be for me would it; it would be to avoid the screams and popping veins of my enforcer.
Ugh. I’ll get there. It’s going to take long than I want but I will.
Goal: 265 lbs by ShibariCon 2009
Pounds to go: 52
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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Hi luna,
thought maybe this might help
)
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/147960/how_to_exercise_at_work_6_exercises.html
Shatteredsouls last blog post..Is the Gorean lifestyle also a BDSM lifestyle?
Hi there… I totally understand from where you’re coming. I have a food diary, too, and it’s getting really old putting in my info every night. When I’m bad, though, I just need to face it, log it, and move on, ie., not feel overly guilty. Time management is my big thing and cleaning… *Sigh* Hang in there, girl. I’m reading you every day.
Losing weight is so hard, because eating is just so hardwired into us. You can’t let the failures get you down. Just keep focusing on the successes and keep plugging away?
Have you tried Weight Watchers, or some other “community support” style program? I have friends who’ve had tremendous success with them!
I can relate very well with discouragement when we can’t find motivation or we don’t see the downward trend on the scale. But, I am sure you already know you are your own worst enemy! You can’t think of things as failures…that is self-defeating…and you can’t let others, meaning “nay-sayers” get to you (not that there are any but sometimes the case), and you have to take “baby” steps (always reminds me of the movie “What about Bob” with Bill Murray). You can do it!!! Though it is an interesting idea to have your very own drill sargeant!!! Liked that one!!!
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