Master spoke to me yesterday about this blog. He said that the last few posts have all been about the same thing; how content I am in my submission and my progress. He said he’s been pondering removing the blogging requirement from my rules. I’m not sure why it disturbs me that he’s thinking of this change. It’s not like I’d stop blogging; I love it too much.
But there is something to be said in the fact that I have to blog at certain intervals. It’s something that is expected of me and I do look forward to it even if the recent posts haven’t had any trials or crisis in them. I am still thinking and growing. I have a long road ahead of me no matter what he decides. I will continue to do his bidding and serve him how he wishes.
I’m fine with changing my rules around, removing ones that aren’t necessary anymore and adding in others that will improve my training. Does his thought process mean that blogging isn’t necessary anymore? I don’t think so. Perhaps he sees how it makes me feel and that it’s an outlet that will not fade. I have no fear of just up and stopping blogging. I have a voice here.
I was silent when he said he’d been thinking about it. In my mind it raced with all the things I’d like to talk about but couldn’t get the words together for a decent post. I have a lot of opinions and things that I know would be a help to me and others out there. Sometimes I get an urge to blog about something and it’s the wrong moment or by the time I sit down it just doesn’t come to me like I thought it would. I know everyone had gotten that way before.
It is true that our life is happy right now and what struggle I have I have beaten down rather quickly. We are more intimate now, I crave his kiss and I relish the love we have for one another. My life couldn’t be any nearer to perfect than it is right now. There are things that I could change, but it wouldn’t affect my heart. It will always be his.
I don’t know what he will decide, but I do know that I will continue to blog. It may even be the same days; out of habit. It may be more, or less. But this outlet for my feelings and thoughts won’t go away. I feel so free here to express things, a way of collecting thoughts and sharing feelings. This is my home too.