I have to say thank you to everyone who answered the Thursday Question this week about activities that give you pause. It was a tough one.
Activities that we engage in in BDSM are completely personal decisions and I feel that as long as everyone participating is aware of the risks and dangers then the choice is yours on what you’d like to do. I agree with most when they say that your kink is not my kink, and that’s okay. This doesn’t stop me from having moral or ethical issues surrounding some activities.
One of the activities that gives me pause is forced homosexuality. I’ve read about it and even though the submissive in the relationship says that there is no resulting emotional trauma they would not have done this if it was not pressed upon them. What I see wrong with forced homosexuality is that it’s almost like rape. Now I can see if someone has an inclination to engage in sexual relations with the same sex that they can be encouraged and I don’t see a moral issue here. However, to tell a submissive that they are going to learn to like girls (or boys) for the sole pleasure of the dominant I feel has danger written all over it.
Another activity is the idea of being given away. The submissive in this case is usually loaned out for use by other dominants. This to me is too much like prostitution and I just don’t like the idea. It goes against all of my beliefs of a loving relationship and the trust within that. You may trust your dominant, and that dominant may trust their friend, but how can you trust that friend? By proxy?
Last one I can think of on this subject is humiliation in terms of prejudice. This would be calling a black person by cruel derogatory terms within the play session, ridiculing an overweight person with fat jokes or cracking remarks to an Hispanic person for the general consensus that they may not know English well. All of these ideas are not play session fodder. They are abusive and disrespectful and I don’t condone them at all.
Along the same lines I have activities that I read about or know people who engage in that I just dislike the idea of. These don’t tug at my morals but they just give me the heebie jeebies. Things like scat, body alteration (cutting tongues, adding nodules to eyebrows, etc) and rainbow play just really make me feel disgusted.
I’m not saying that those that practice these things are wrong, I’m just saying that they grate on my personal moral structure and aren’t things that I could accept well, if at all. Everyone has to have limits right?