January 2008

You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2008.

Here is my list of newly discovered blogs within the BDSM blogosphere! I have found them very interesting and enjoyable to read. I hope you will enjoy them and feel free to leave a comment or two. You just may find a new favorite blog!

Don Cambion

catalina loves her collar

The Spanking Writers

Thursday’s Child

trinity-pup

No Limits

Dancing with the Devil

Magdalena Sins

Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at luna’s Journey. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!

What are your favorite forms of restraint? Are you a rope slut? Shackles your thing? Love the smell and feel of leather?

Becoming Famous?

I’m getting it a lot more recently. I can’t explain it really. It takes me completely by surprise and I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond. My heart bounds, my pride swells and I blush ruby red. What is it?

I’m being recognized. If not visually, as soon as someone hears my name their eyes light up. “You’re the luna from Iron Gate?! I’ve been reading your blog for X (months/years/forever)!”

I’m flabbergasted, amazed, honored and humbled. I had no intention of being somewhat of a role model, or someone you follow like a soap opera. I even had one girl tell me that she’s trying to live up to my level of submission. Wow. Uh. Okay.

Trying to come to terms with my celebrity is like recovering from an addiction. I’m still in a denial state. There is just no way that I’m popular and that people talk about me at parties or with other submissive friends. Not like I do about kaya, at least. She’s famous. Me? I’m just … here. At some point I’m going to have to stand up and say, “Hi, I’m luna, and I’m a BDSM blog celebrity.”

I wonder what it is about me that so many people read me everyday. Is it because so many people can relate to my story? Is it because long lasting BDSM blogs are rare? Maybe it’s the fact that I try to remain real and tell the whole story, even if it’s not romantic fantasy.

At any level the fact that I’m getting recognized in the local groups I attend makes me somewhat nervous that I’ll be recognized at ShibariCon next year, in which Master and I do intend on making the best weekend of our lives!

I’m running along the lines of what happens if I meet one of the bloggers I read so much of? I mean what about if I meet up with liljgrrl and Daddy? I love reading their blog and ogling the beautiful rope work there. There’s no doubt they will be there, she’s already counting down. Will I treat them like some famous person or who they really are? A couple that enjoys writing about what they do.

In reality, that’s all I am. I’m a person. Master is a person and I share our life on this blog. It may bring me more in the limelight that I ever thought would happen and I will have to be okay with that. I am exhibitionist, but this is a different stage. I could be famous, I’ll learn to take it all in stride.

In the meantime though, I’ll continue to serve my Master as best as I can. Please be sure not to lift me up too high. I’m just like the rest of us.

–luna

If you haven’t seen it yet I strongly suggest you go watch Monk’s new video blog posts on YouTube. It’s a performance bondage mummification suspension piece he did awhile back and it’s so awesome! I can’t wait till I can be suspended and tied up like that! It’s only a matter of time.

Part 1
Part 2

Submissive Goals

The goals of any submissive are as varied as the relationship as to which they tend. I’ve been given the task of naming the goals I currently have within my submission and then explain how I plan on working towards them. A daunting task indeed! I’ve really not given it much thought honestly before now and the task ahead puts a bit of pressure for me to define myself a bit and what I want. After I figure out my goals I have to realize whether or not it’s realistic, how I plan to go about it and what I think it will bring to the relationship.This task is a lot like the Code of Ethics I began writing. My Code is not as detailed as this is expected to be, but it is a stepping off point for me. I’m not sure if I ever showed you this code. I will go through it point by point and explain how it fits into my goals as a submissive.

I will endeavor to express my needs and desires openly with Master without fear of reaction or consequences.

I currently have issues with expressing all that needs expressing when it comes to sharing with Master. I tend to keep a lot of thoughts to myself when I know that I have brought it up too much, he has expressed that he’s heard it before or when it is troubling me; but not in a big way. I guess I perceive it as a way to keep him from being overburdened with all the baggage I bring with me and the wasteful fretting I do.

When it comes to sexual or sensual desires I’ve been a bit more open about what I want. This isn’t easy. I constantly feel that I need to just be available for you and if you want to make me come or have me in my favorite positions then you would just do it. I’m afraid that I might suggest something that you wouldn’t like to do and a part of me sees asking for what I want sexually as controlling your desires.

Overall I need to not be afraid of your response. I have seen and felt your wrath and I’d hate to bring it upon myself. I know that you can control your reactions and I shouldn’t be afraid as I used to be with others. It’s sort of like, “Don’t rock the boat.” If I say something and you get upset it disrupts are day/moment/relationship and I would hate for that to happen; however I know that you want to be kept informed of things for the betterment of the relationship. This is where I feel caught. I’m caught between sharing things and changing things and the talking would lead to better things. One never knows.

I will take great care about my appearance as it always reflects on Master even in vanilla settings where they do not know the dynamic exists.

I have a goal of caring for my body more than I do now. I want to make sure that I have a routine in place to care for myself someday. I want to make sure I don’t leave the house in anything that you wouldn’t approve of my wearing, I want to make sure my hair looks as best it should and my make up is just right for you at all times. This is a goal that is in progress but I know that there are days that I slack at my hair especially.

I want to be that jewel upon your arm that all people look to you; that feeling of pride in what you own for appearance alone, as that is what people will notice first. I know that in previous relationships it was a sense of shock and pity that people looked. I want the glances now to be admiration and jealousy. I hope to someday play my part in that.

Remaining healthy is very important to the health of our relationship. I will continue to work towards loosing weight and getting active until that time he feels I have reached my ultimate goal.

You put a rule out when I started dieting. I wasn’t to quit. Right now I don’t believe I’ve quit, but it isn’t as present as it could be. I’d like to work towards a healthy life with you. I know that if I were at a normal weight I’d have more energy and feel happier. I would want to do more with you sexually.

I want to change the way I eat so that I watch more what goes in my mouth and that I make smart choices. I desire to know that the food I put inside me is helping me stay healthy and live longer with you. I will not do anything to jeopardize our life together.

I will find beauty in serving Master in even the smallest things.

The smallest things. Typically these things are making coffee or fetching the remote. They just seem so mundane to be considered service to you. I think it would be best if I concentrate on the larger service issues before I got to the small ones, in fact, they may even fit into place once I develop my mindset on the big ones. Who knows?

Seeking guidance from other more experienced submissives is acceptable and encouraged when no answers can be found elsewhere.

You may be wondering why this is a part of my goals, but I know exactly what this is. If I want to be the best submissive for you, I have to know and experience as much as I can. I learn from reading other people’s blogs and sites; I chat with others and with these short mentoring sessions I can pick up something that would enhance our lives and you would love it. It’s a part of my creativity and desire to learn I think.

My body is not my own and I will offer it to Master as frequently as I can; for his pleasure and sexual needs.

I admit this is a hard one for me but one I would like to excel at in the near future. I want to be able to sense your needs and offer myself without your needing to ask me. I also want to be more pliable when the desire arises for you to take me by objectification or force.

Master’s needs are a priority and I will strive to ensure his desires are met in an appropriate and timely manner.

The importance of this one is paramount to all the others falling into place. If I don’t see your needs as priority to mine or someone else’s then why would we even have a D/s relationship to begin with? You are my Master and I will strive to make you happy as often as possible, keeping your needs above my own. I hope that this will become a mantra unto which I live my life at your feet.

I shall work hard towards learning and making habit the rules that Master sets out for me.

This one is kinda like saying that no matter what you give me as rules I will continue to try and follow them. I will try to grow and develop into the person you wish to have serve you always. That is my goal. I will change my behavior and strengthen my skills for you Master.

After all that I still think I have a long way to go. I’ve sorted out the goals I have and I know that I want to develop them, but truthfully, without your help I can not accomplish them. You are the person that I need around so that I can reach my goals, nothing more.

–luna

Anniversary Bondage

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of being collared. We hadn’t even noticed it until I saw the post in my memories sidebar area. I can’t believe a year has gone by. It feels like only a few months ago that he wrapped that piece of leather around my neck and I asked if I was worthy.

The leather has deteriorated and moved on to silver but the feeling is still the same. I belong to him completely. My whole life has changed because he has entered my life. I could never find someone as wonderful as he is. We are perfect for each other.

I’ve looked back this past year and can find no real arguments and the good thing is that there weren’t any to speak of. Master and I have really good communication and talk to each other before things would blow up on us. We’ve grown closer together and been able to play more powerfully and find our love for things. Like bondage.

In celebration, I asked Master if he’d tie me up. He mentioned a frog tie but it turns out what he thought was a frog tie, wasn’t. I was laid on my belly. He proceeded to tie my arms behind my back making sure to immobilize my shoulders and wrists. Then he tied my ankles to the anchor points in the arm bind, pulling my legs up and out so that I was spread open but on my front. It was very helpless and I was very turned on.

He got out the butt plug and lubed it up, slid it into my ass. It felt so good. Then he pulled out the glass dildo that I love! Master tied it in place using the same arm binder as the anchor point to keep it in place.

He then proceeded to tease and torture my poor clitty, and he coaxed 3 orgasms out of me in rather rapid succession. I struggled against the bondage and it felt so very good. I was floaty and so very in tuned with the rope.

Master fucked me then. I don’t remember if he untied me first or just hiked my ass up in the air. It was hot and so very good to feel him moving in me. I was in orgasmic delirium.

The rope marks felt so good and the achy muscles in my shoulders remain even today.

A beautiful synergy of love, lust and rope!

–luna

From My Bottom Smarts Spanko Brunch: What traits make a great spanker?

A great spanker is as unique and individual as the spankee. When I was first exploring BDSM I couldn’t tell you the difference between one person’s play style and another. Now I can see it within moments of their first strike.

The traits I see as being very important to a great spanker are specific to what I see and need in a spanker. These can and will be different for everyone that may come across this page. You can take this as a stepping off point to come up with your own list.

Focus: A great spanker will maintain their focus on the spankee throughout the session. They are not easily distracted by the spankees giggling, whining, sighing or other verbal responses. In fact, the responses the spanker gets are encouraged and brought out more as the spanker gets more in tune with the way the spanking is having an effect.

Variety: No great spanker would make this list if they do not have a variety of implements and striking styles. Any spankee will tell you that a hand spanking in the same motion, same speed and same impact does get boring after awhile. A spanker that can stir it up with different strikes, surprising caresses inbetween impacts and toys you never saw before will make a spanking much more entertaining for both parties.

Concentration: A great spanker should have good concentration. They will be able to see exactly where they are striking and remember what sort of response they are getting with each implement and strike pattern they try. A spanker in concentration will begin to make beautiful music with their spankee and the toys they use.

Knowledge: As with most anything, a great spanking comes with a knowledgeable spanker. A spanker that comes with experience, lots of practice and a knowledge of the spankee will draw out a better session than one who does not know anything about the subject or the play.

Sense of Humor: With all play, there can be an element of fun and joking from both parties. A great spanker can easily go with the punches and toss out a few smart remarks back at the spankee. This is especially effective when the spankee complains about it hurting too much or that they don’t find that cane to be a fair toy.

–luna

PS: Master mentioned that I have focus and concentration on here. He sees them as the same thing. I guess I don’t. Anyone else have an opinion?

Positive Attitude

Today it is all about my attitude. Not that I’m a smart mouth and need it slapped clear off my face, but that I’m very negative. Master has always seen that in me and so have many of the readers of my blog. I don’t want to be negative and can’t really understand why I’m so down on life and worry so much about things I can’t control. I’d have to say that I don’t think even Master knows to what extent I plan for the impossible, improbable and unlikely to happen.

For example, I really hate driving. I was practically shoved behind the wheel at 17 when my mom said, “enough is enough, you have your license now get out there and drive your sister to the dance.” It was 6 blocks of sheer terror for me. I expected everything to go wrong and it went over and over in my head as I put it into reverse, pulled out of the parking space and then merged into traffic. Things like flat tires to accidents and death. It was all there. I couldn’t convince myself otherwise that I would make it to school and then home safe.

And it stuck with me. I’m sure I was negative before that but this is a moment I relive and am certain that the negativity in this change of my life is exactly what I have going on everyday since. I still hate driving. I don’t picture the things that could happen all the time; but I do with alarming frequency. Vivid visions of what would happen if I didn’t go around this curve just right, flying past a deep ravine and wonder if anyone would find me if I ended up down there, the deer jumping in my path… It’s all been there. But it goes further than that. My mind goes into how would Master find out something happened, how’d he get to the hospital, how bad would it be, what happened if I died… yes, it gets that bad.

And here is where most people say I need therapy. Maybe I do. Therapy has never worked for me. I’ve been to 6 therapists over the course of my life. They all turn to my weight and eating habits within 3 months and I can’t see what that has to do with my thoughts and emotions because while I know I have some emotional eating, that has all dwindled since I met Master. I admit; one therapist worked. The marriage counselor that my ex and I went to. She helped me change a bit. I was so very bossy and while I catch myself at it now and again, I’ve learned not to be. I also learned how to express how I feel without accusing the other person. “I feel….” sentences instead of “You do this” or “You make me feel”. That has worked wonderfully even now when I need to express something to Master and it’s hard for me. But, right now Master is the only therapy I can afford and it’s worked wonders with many things in my life I’m sure he can work this one out too.

On to the way I’m going to try to handle this one; since it’s a toughy and it has been with me a very long time is this:

  • Find online articles about developing a positive attitude and outlook.
  • Read about stress relief and getting rid of worrying.
  • Relax! God I need to stop being so tense about the littlest things.
  • Continue to try to not take work home with me.
  • Others?

–luna

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