I Love (my) Boobs!

(This post is stuck at the top during the month of October. If you wish to read my newer posts, scroll down!)

In celebration of boobs and awareness of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, luna’s Journey will be posting images of boobs in October. I encourage everyone to participate! The boobs you share must belong to you or someone you know. They can be covered or completely naked; just share your love for your (or your partners) boobs! Be artistic, be flirty, be sexy, be outright kinky… it’s your choice.

When you’ve decided to participate just leave a comment on this post with a link to your blog post letting the world know that you Love Your Boobs! Grab the badge below to show your support for Breast Cancer Research. That’s not it, for every picture posted during the month of October, I will be making a $0.25 donation to a Breast Cancer Research Charity. I have several listed in the right sidebar. This is for charity people so get those boobs posted and post them often!

My record keeping (and subsequent donations) is dependent on you posting your link to your blog post here every single time you put up a picture of your boobs. If you forget to post one, then I can’t donate the money! You can do it, let’s see those tits!

–luna

Rain

As I sit watching the rain fall,
I know that everything will be alright.
As I sit watching the rain fall,
I wonder what the world will be doing tonight.
A cat is meowing up through the rain,
Crying for a warm place to stay.
As I sit watching the rain fall,
All my fears melt away
A flower reaches up from the soil,
Gulping and savoring the fresh water.
As I sit watching the rain fall,
I know everything will be alright.

Counting Strokes

Bonnie asks these questions during her Spanko Brunch this week:

Have you and/or your partner counted strokes during a spanking? If so, did it enhance the experience? To what extent is counting a regular part of your repertoire? If you haven’t counted before, would you consider doing so? Why or why not?

I have counted strokes before. That tactic is actually employed more during punishment than any other time during play because it’s hard for me to float away and absorb the pain as pleasure if I have to concentrate on the number. In punishment though it makes the strokes more mentally painful too as I have to count each one, knowing that I have done something to displease my Master. “Hitting it home,” so to speak.

Hopefully Master won’t consider counting as part of the regular play repertoire as it’s just jarring to me rather than a good feeling. I’d actually consider saying anything other than counting. Even if it was a thank you each time or a yes, Master. I just think it’s the mental act of counting that is a turn off for me.

–luna

Silence

Silence is when everything pauses in time.
People enjoy the peace of mind.
When things run at a steady pace,
Nothing is left out from the race.
The silence is broken with a cry of happiness or pain.
It symbolizes that silence is not everlasting.
Silence is that stunned moment when
Everything stops to listen for the cry.
People can get in silence,
Sometimes it ruins their life.
Most people say it is a treat.
I say that silence should be saved for the sad times.
Times to think things out and discover that it’s not all as bad as you thought.
Silence is a wonderful thing to place between the noisy, happy times.

No Luck

We aren’t getting the apartment. The contract client for Master ditched him without paying the rest of the bill. That was the moving money so we are stuck here. We are both crushed. We can’t afford representation to send this guy threatening legal letters to get him to pay up. I don’t know what to do and Master has just decided to move on.

*sigh*

I’m depressed.

–luna

Swan

Like an ugly duckling
I wished my whole life
Wandering through time
Unhappily
Then someone showed me
That life wasn’t so bad
I could smile through all my
Oddities
That person showed me that
My true self was inside
There lay dormant for so long
A swan
Now stretching her wings to fly
Everyday I thank this person
For bringing out the beauty inside
And ignoring the outer self
For had this person never shown
they cared
I would soon have been an empty shell

Being a Good Girl

Hardcore Romance asked the following questions on his blog and it made me really try to discern the difference for myself.

Do you like being a good girl or do you like being called a good girl?

Do you like being a bad girl and getting a spanking in order to make you a good girl?

I love being called a good girl. I love the sweet sensation that comes over me when Master has praised me just that way. He could say thank you or any other variety of praises and it wouldn’t affect me like “good girl” does. I think it first had to do with just being good and in my first D/s relationship. It’s something I loved to hear and tried my hardest just to hear it.

I was and am a good girl. I don’t ascribe to the second train of thought of being a bad girl to get the spanking to become a good girl. I’d rather my spankings were of the yummy variety. I hate punishment and will avoid the cane at all costs. Maybe it is because I’m a masochist that I’d rather my pain be for pleasure than for being bad.

More than likely it’s just because I like being good. I like making sure Master is happy and proud of me.

The Journey

There was no moon that night, nor any stars gave off their light.
The air was chilled, the wind was still,
But I was out in the middle of the night.
The path was long and winding, the darkness seemed so blinding.
I had to get to my cabin, I felt that something would happen.
My flashlight did nothing to remove the blanket of darkness, nothing could be heard, there was only silence.
As I pushed through the weeds and muck, I was praying that I would make it home.
My cabin seemed so far away.
“You are lost,” the trees tried to say.
But I knew if I stayed on the path,
I would find my cabin at last.

Begging 101

Kaya had a moment today where she talked about begging and how she has problems with it. I’d like to say that I have problems too, but not anymore.

It has taken a lot of work. Master insists that I beg for a lot of things and I think that most Dominants choose this route to see just how desperate their submissive is for whatever it is they want. Generally it’s about being allowed to come or when you have been teased to death and you just want sex, right, now!

I used to be just like kaya. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Then if that didn’t work I’d up the anty. “Whipped cream?” “Chocolate Sauce?” Uh-huh, what was I doing, tempting him with dessert? This never worked.

Then I went to the “potty dance routine” of “please, please, please, please….” So many pleases in there that it just didn’t have the sentiment that he wanted out of me so that didn’t work either.

Now I’m catching on. I’m no where near perfect but I can and generally do get what I’ve begged for after a short stint of him grinning at me and telling me that wasn’t good enough. He wants me to go all out and yes, I give it to him.

Say I want to come and I know he’s going to ask me to beg. It may go something like this:

“Master, please may I come? I’m so hot and my clit feels like it’s going to explode!”

He usually declines the first time so then it gets more desperate.

“Master, oh god Master I’d really love to come for you and show you just how slutty I am. Please let me come.”

If he’s just in the mood to listen to me beg he’ll give me that grin that says, “Almost, but not quite.” Then the big guns come out.

“Master, I need to come so bad for you, if you let me come I’ll scream and moan so loud, god Master, I don’t want to hold it anymore please? I’ll suck your dick like a mad-woman if I can”

Yup, bribery. I opt for giving him things that I don’t normally do voluntarily. That’s just the way it works for me. I have to really show him how desperate he’s made me, tell him the orgasm is really his and not what I need and then top it off with something that he’s going to love.

Other people’s thoughts on begging:

Very interesting stuff :)


Begging for a Blow Job

–luna

Touchdown

10,24,36, Hut!
Stick and Run… go, go, go!
All tactics run through your head,
Do you go right or left?
Attack!
Helmets collide, the ball is down.
Three yard gain, our team
Ten more yards and we win the game.
Stress! The team is tired…
Last chance…run…
Catch ball…run…
Touchdown! game is won.
Dance, Spike, High Five’s!
So much…for so little.

Trust

Through life we come to trust someone,
Comfortably telling them everything meant as confidential,
You learn to believe that everything said is very special.

But sometimes you are scammed,
You give up on trust and don’t believe the truth.
Then life becomes one big lie and you are caught in the middle.
You age and die with no one to trust even a little.

Going Pink

It really was a hard choice for me to decide whether I was going purple for National Domestic Violence Awareness month or pink for Breast Cancer awareness. I did Domestic Violence in July for the Blogathon and I intend on doing it again next year so the decision was made. This blog is going pink for October. I’m still hunting for a header image, so if anyone wants to make one or has one laying around that would be good for Breast Cancer awareness I would love to see it. It needs to fit in my header space at the top. That’s about the only restriction. I’ve been looking for a tasteful boobies image that would be kewl in pink. Why not a tit tribute? Of course anything pink would be good.

I wrote to Master this weekend about the ritual I was interested in adding to our relationship. The writing assignment that had been put off for a month (ouch). I will post it on Luna’s Lessons soon if Master will let me. The ritual I have been fascinated about it permission to eat or food restrictive behavior. Does anyone else have food rules or eating rules they’d like to share? It’s always been something that interested me because it’s a basic need that he’d be controlling and I think I’d feel more at his mercy with that than with other things I have surrendered to him.

Master and I are approaching our 3 year anniversary and it is a perfect time to reflect on where I was a year ago and where I am now in my submission. This past year has been very difficult but I’ve grown leaps and bounds. Master has put it this way (paraphrased)

You used to submit because you had to follow the rules, now you submit because you want to follow the rules.

I think it’s pretty cool. I can feel it myself. I crave to give more and be more than I have in the past. I don’t struggle against what once were things that tied me down. I love to show him how much I love him.

The blow jobs have gotten better, I’ve done a lot on the way of thinking that it is worship and also because Master said that he’d be more willing to play or have sex after a blow job if I did a good job. That’s quite motivational since my biggest hang up was the selfish “what am I getting out of it”. I feel more at peace with that part of myself.

I was honored with Master’s permanent collar this year and cherish every moment in it. I strive to continue to grow in the love and obedience to Master.

–luna

What I Am

Some say it is what’s outside
I say it’s inside,
Here’s what I think I am.
Silent, yet cheerful, I listen to other’s plights
I try to give good advice.
My friends like that I am just plain fun
Trusting is a strong suit in my mind
I speak what’s on my mind, yet I monitor what I say.
My physical attributes stand out
Because they are what people see first.
My blue eyes, curly hair, and tall, large physique show through.
My intellectual side shows how I love to think.
These are some things
That I know I am.

Til Death Do Us Part

A dark red cherry box gently lined
With virginal satin, upon a pedestal
The twinkling faded; corroded time
A life, future strong and pure
Past flourishing, lay within the box
Mourning now a liquid pain
Years extinguished irreplaceable, lost.

Till death do we part
Promised, but never imagined
The truth we uttered
Would become tangible
No physical loss, you nor I
Only the eternal commitment
Shall be interred today

Fragmented circles; splintered
Stay clad in rose oil memories
A love now flying free, exposed
Filling the sky, it bleeds
The only thread to chain them
Cuts the bonds of ink on paper
Not enough to feed the souls within

Here lies that golden bond
A symbol of what was a vow
“I will love you into the beyond”
Even as the rings are entombed now
Crushed, and soon buried
With the decree of our love
Through that love, we breathe

Weight Loss: Week 2 in Review

Alright folks… the verdict is: 311. Yup, I’m still 311. No loss, no gain. It’s one of those good and bad things. I’m happy I didn’t gain any weight but kinda saddened I haven’t lost a single pound yet. Not that I’m too surprised, it is just the beginning of a long journey. It is also the beginning of my bloat week so… after that’s all done I could have lost 2 lbs or something and never known it :P

I did pretty well with my eating and exercise mainly because I brought it to Master’s feet and asked him to be my conscience. We have a dry erase board with letters on it; one for water, diet, exercise and strength training. I have to cross them off as they are completed. If I fail to succeed with it, I get one day to make it up (only if that day before I didn’t have time to do it). If I don’t make it up I get a cane stroke added to my tally and the punishment is handed out that day. Master was generous to start the tally at 5. We started this method on Thursday so the jury is still out on whether it works, but I think it will only have a positive impact as I hate the punishment cane so much that I don’t want to see 6 strokes on the board. The only way to get a stroke removed is to be a perfect score for a whole week.

I’m thinking of upping my strength training as supposedly I selected 30 mins workout but it’s only taking me 15-20 and it’s not taxing me a lot. I don’t even feel the burn anywhere but my stomach for about 5 mins after.

I lowered the food calorie range that SP.com keeps upping for some reason. The website diet says my high range should be 2450. I seriously doubt my metabolism is up high enough for me to eat that much. I lowered it to 2000 as my high range and when I start feeling hungry after I eat 2000 then I know my metabolism is working higher and I can up it.

Next week I am of course working towards a perfect score. I can’t make the tally go down any (since it’s at the starting point) but I sure as hell don’t want to see it go up. Today I will up my strength training regime and make sure that my cardio is at or more than 30 mins (30 mins still pushes me so I think I’ll stay there for now). Let’s hope for weight loss next week!

–luna

The Way

The way you used to touch me
Sent shivers down my spine
Butterfly kisses all over my flesh
Made me twitch with anticipation
your kiss made me hot with passion
The look from your eyes
Called my heart to sing
But now the fire has died
The magic faded
Whatever happened
To the power in your touch
You would spend so long pleasuring me
Now all we do is fuck
There are no sweet embraces
No time to electrify my senses
Making love to me is no more
I want you to love me;
Touch me
I want to be touched like
I’ve never been touched before
Like the first time
A new time
Renew my love with power of your touch
I need that from you now

We got it!

The landlord called today and told us if we want the apartment it’s ours. I have to send her the deposit and cat deposit and then it’s reserved for us! I’m so excited. The apartment is open now, so I just have to decide what day next month I want to take possession of the place and we can move. I’m pretty darn excited. We are waiting until Master gets his project done and then we can move.

Now the hard part… packing. I’ve got to call the fast food places and see if they will hold boxes for me for the next few weeks. I have to pick through all of our things and decide if it goes or gets tossed. It’s a hard task. I’m sure Master will help me. He’s great with helping me. I love him so much.

–luna