Spark

Master has been wanting to take me to see the fireworks for the 4th of July and all I have to do is look up when they are. He wants me to be happy because lately I’ve not been. So you’d think that I ran over to the news website to look up the next time there are fireworks in town. But I haven’t. I can’t explain why. I see why he wants to cheer me up. He’s down because I am. It’s not fair for him.

I can’t even explain why I’m down. I’m doing well on my diet, I feel good about the future as a healthy person. I love my job (stress and all) and I love my Master. Our lives are looking up. I can’t figure why I’m looking down.

I’ve got plans for my cheering up. But why do I keep putting it off? I have hopes and dreams for how I want my everyday to be, so I put it off? I just don’t understand myself. Master has assigned me a writing assignment for this next week and it’s going to be hard for me.

The topic is what puts me in a submissive mindset. Sometimes I don’t even know. I’m determined to find out though. I’m going to think about it all week and jot down ideas as I have them about how I feel and where I am in my behavior and attitude. I’m sure I will have a light bulb moment at the end of this week.

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Blogathon registration is still not open. I can’t sign up yet so no one can sponsor me. Which brings me to a question. Who is thinking about sponsoring my blog for the Domestic Violence Project? What would you like to see me blog about?

–luna

Possibly related posts:

1. Reminding myself to pay attention
2. Manic Monday
3. More Indepth Discussion
4. Finding Feelings
5. Going Pink