Here is my list of newly discovered blogs within the BDSM blogosphere! I have found them very interesting and enjoyable to read. I hope you will enjoy them and feel free to leave a comment or two. You just may find a new favorite blog!
Three Worlds Collide
Fit to be Tied
The Writings of a Deviant Mind
Art Through Service
Beauty in Darkness: the history of BDSM
Destiny and her pet chance
Down on My Knees
I’ve you’ve left a comment to a post in the past 14 days, I’ve missed it until today! I’m so sorry. For some reason the spam catcher put them there, so when I was going through it to delete the actual spam I saw all the wonderful gifts from you!
I’ve read each one of them and while I can’t comment on all of them, please know I have seen them and will be watching the spam box more diligently!
I have had the mother of all stressful days today. I actually spent the morning at work in a conference room crying because I was at my breaking point. My boss was on the way to do damage control and help me out. He’s such a great guy and seems to understand my personality perfectly. He said as soon as he got the email the night before he knew how I’d react and wanted to help out. I was an emotional wreck.
See, the challenge in my character is that I take my job very seriously and personally. When something goes wrong and they come to me first. I go into ‘fix-it’ mode. I couldn’t fix this quite as fast and I panicked, I got defensive over my position and words collided.
Now on Thursday when this all started going down I came home a bundle of nerves and did something I’ve only asked for on a couple of occasions. I asked Master for a spanking. I wanted to release the frustration, the anger, the hurt, the confusion, the defensiveness, you name it I wanted it gone. I knew that the typical soak in the tub was not going to help me this time. He obliged happily. Any chance to spank me he’ll take and told me that he’d help me out anytime I needed it.
We went into the bedroom so that I could lie down and relax and he started in slow. My only thought then was I just wanted him to wail into me, but also knew that I wanted a decent duration one and immediate force was not condusive to that. I enjoyed the sensation as my buzzing nerves slowly began to unravel and I started feeling better. Tears fell a little but I was silent. The pain got pretty intense for a bit and it was performing the opposite of what I needed and I was tensing up so I asked him if he could back down again. Thankfully he did.
When it was all done, I still laid there and talked to him about it and while he may not have thought I had calmed down, I sure felt better.
Friday it all came crashing back. My boss said some things that made me shake my head because I have heard them from Master over and over. “There are things you can’t control. Your personality doesn’t like that. You want to have control over every aspect of your work. When something happens that you can’t control you worry, get defensive and irrational. Try this next time something happens. Ask yourself if this is something you can control. If you say no, then back away for a bit and reflect. Handle it differently. It’s not going anywhere since you can’t control it anyway. ”
The rest of the day went okay. I don’t feel I got a lot accomplished but Friday ended and I didn’t feel as stressed out. Master took me out to dinner and I had some terriyaki stir fry. Yum! When we got him I went straight to bed.
Thank you Master for caring for me so much to see what my needs are and be there for me. I will love you always.
“Rules: Post the explanation of where your username came from. Then tag TEN users whose explanations you’d like to hear. If you are tagged post the explanation to your page.”
The username in question is my LJ username of luna_km. It’s pretty self explanatory, I think. My scene name is luna and my Master’s scene name initials are KM.
I’m supposed to tag ten people, but I don’t like to tag, so if you want to let us know where your username, nick came from… feel free!
All of you talented avatar designers out there….
I’m looking for an avatar to use for my Thursday Question series. The image I currently use is too large. I’d like a 100×100 icon/avatar. Nothing fancy. It just has to say “Thursday Question” and have some sort of nice looking background.
I’d love to see what you can come up with!
Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at luna’s Journey. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like.
This will be a regular weekly addition to the site, come back often and see what people have to say!
This week’s question:
How has BDSM enhanced your relationship?
From Submissive Journal Prompts: Do you work outside the home? How does that affect your dynamic? What do you do to define your work mindset from your submissive one?
Obviously if you have ever read my blog then you know that I work outside the home every day. I work in an office setting and leave before Master gets up and come home with only 6 hours before bedtime again. It’s pretty hard to get all that I want to get squeezed into the evening. Master works here at home and I know that he’s got the same type of issues to separate work from home life. What’s been harder has been changing my mindset from one of work work work to submissiveness. I just haven’t gotten that straightened out yet.
Several things affect the dynamic with me working away from home and Master working at home. First our time together is less, so the time we do has to be more powerful. I’m not saying that every single second has to be special but when we do spend time together it has to mean something. Of course everyone could say that and most likely deals with more issues and daily challenges than we do.
Secondly I have a hard time separating my work life from home life. We’ve been working on it for awhile now. I do have a relaxing plan for when I get home. I’ve not done it in awhile, for some reason I’ve done okay separating myself. Maybe it’s the new workout and diet that has me more focused. Hopefully I will stay that way.
Lastly I take longer to get in the mood, any mood that would be nice for Master to live with. Getting into my submissive mindset is more about closing off all the stuff in my mind; the worries and stress, chores, friends, life in general. I just can’t figure out how to shut it off and focus on Master only.
Yesterday was supposed to be full of juicy details that I was going to share with you all. Well, there isn’t anything to tell. Things just didn’t work out the way we wanted them to.
I am again in my funk of disinterest in sex. I know I know. How can that be? I guess I’m not the cock hungry slut he wants all the time. I don’t know if I can be. I do know that I get better every time we talk about it. I just wish we didn’t have to get to that point before it is brought up. I feel so bad that he gets so desperate to fix something that really isn’t broken. I’m just not as sexual as I used to be. I don’t masturbate, I don’t dream. I don’t watch porn or read naughty stories. It doesn’t really excite me like it used to.
It’s not that I don’t love Master to pieces and I know I want him with my always. He’s the best sex I’ve ever had, no doubt about that. Why would I be so anticlimactic? Anti-sex? It’s just so weird. I’ll get it back. I always do after the talks we have. The one we had last night really hit home and I know that I will be working towards a better sexual life.
Now that’s not to say that we don’t have some amazing sex right now; it’s just kinda infrequent. Like the sex we just had, and the sex last night. It was great. But it’s been a good 4 days before that since I showed any interest in sex. It’s very frustrating to Master and aggravating for myself.
I don’t know. It ebbs and flows. One day I’m a horny devil, the next I’m a prude. What’s with that?
This has been one of the hardest weeks for me; not only am I fighting to get back into a healthy diet and exercise program but I’ve been mad busy at work and Master is requesting more of my time at home. I feel torn in three and I want to be every which way, I really do!
Working on dieting again has given me hope with a bit of dispair. I weighed in today, something I haven’t done in weeks. I was shocked and dismayed. I have to work hard to get back down to where I was so that progress can be seen. I hate backpedaling but I have got to try to get back on the right way. It’s so hard, but with Master as my cheerleader I will be ready for anything.
This weekend’s munch is something of a big one. We will be dicussing the future of the munch group and what people want or expect out of it. I have only received 2 RSVPs so it’s looking bleak. We’ll be there no matter what; I just hope that our dreams for the future of the group will become reality.
I’ve been relocated in the building I work in. I feel like they shoved me in a corner to get me out of the way. I guess when I look around I have vendors from all over in this little room. It could be called the vendor room. Maybe I should feel more at home. I think it will just take time.
Master wants to play hard this weekend. I’m sure I can do it. It’s been awhile since we have played they way he wants to and I will do my best to be in the right mindset. (Just after my nap, boy am I tired.) He wants me to wear my corset for awhile this weekend and he wants to play rough. He’s shared a few vivid dreams with me and I’m willing to entertain them
Here’s to a busy and fun weekend!