Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at luna’s Journey. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like.
This will be a regular weekly addition to the site, come back often and see what people have to say!
This week’s question:
What was your defining moment when you knew that you couldn’t exist without facets of BDSM in your life?
Recently I got a wonderful email from an anonymous person that made me choked up. It was so sweet and wonderful to know that my blog is not only helping me, but it’s helping others. Here’s a snippet of what she said;
When reading your blogs I feel that I can connect to you. I can connect to your submission. Contrary to what the public may think…this is not about manipulation.
So thank you. Thank you for being so open. Thank you for providing insight. And thank you for helping me to better understand my role and that of my master.
Beautiful isn’t it? Thank you to whomever you are. I hope that I can continue to be someone that you can look up to and see yourself in. Growth from the inside starts with a light on the outside. Perhaps I can be your light.
Tonight is the night I get my punishment for breaking rules. I’m not looking forward to it but the wait has done it’s job mightily. I am reminded of what is to come every single time I drive by a fast food place. No way will I do this again. It’s not worth the disappointment in his eyes.
That’s the point of course. If I didn’t learn from my mistakes and punishment didn’t do what it was supposed to then there would be no point in trying to do anything. I admit I take punishment very hard. My mood drops immensely after being punished and I tend to beat myself up over it. Self-guilt most likely.
It takes me awhile to get over it; the disappointment in myself is hard to take but the look in Master’s eyes is worse.
I’m so glad to see you getting better Master. I felt so bad to know that I had given you my cold. Thankfully you didn’t get it as bad as I had it.
You know I’m not looking forward to tomorrow when I get my punishment for breaking your rules. I will submit to it and learn from it as I should. I am really sorry and I won’t do it again. Facing a pending punishment is scary but it has me constantly thinking. You still love me and want to be with me even though I have done something wrong. It’s taken a lot to wrap my head around it.
On to other things… I need your help. My diet is not working alone. You are my rock but I need you to be a more active role. I need to be pushed to do things that I normally don’t like. I need you to hold me up. I must exercise and I want you to help make me. Help me Master, please.
I have posted a new essay on Luna’s Lessons entitled You May Come Now. Come check it out!
Anyone catch the new game show National Bingo Night? It looks quite interesting and fun. We just might watch and play. It’s on 8pm Central on ABC. It’s kewl.
My punishment is coming for breaking rules. Master said I’m getting cane strokes. I hate that. He doesn’t want to interrupt our possible play so he doesn’t know when I will get this punishment. Oh my… I have to wait for what I dread. It may be worse since I have to wait for what I know will happen. Serves me right that I broke the rules to begin with.
- I ate fast food.
- I didn’t tell Master about it.
- I tried to hide it when asked.
Those are big rules. It makes me nervous to know the caning coming. (*sigh*)
I’m also hoping to do some coloring this weekend. Master has mentioned that he wants a new picture to hang on the fridge. Maybe bring out my Barbie coloring book
Here’s some inspiration from the Universe today. I needed to hear it too.
Do not be alarmed, luna, as you walk down the path of life, to suddenly find you don’t have the foggiest idea of how your grandest dreams will one day come to pass. This is a good thing. A really good thing.
Just keep walking…
PS: luna, such confusion over the “hows” creates the space you need to enjoy the journey and the space I need to blow your mind. Just keep walking.
Today is going to be a busy day. I won’t have time to sit down to breathe at work. Thank goodness I know I can do it all!
I’m feeling a lot better today. My cold has subsided; I just have the annoying crusty nose syndrome… anyone else think that’s worse than the runny nose to begin with? Ugh. I’m not tired all the time and Master even deemed it time to get back into sex! Yay me! Maybe by Saturday I’ll be well enough to kiss him. Heh, not that we don’t already share all the same germs.
The struggles are still here. It’s a lighter load though. I was able to divert on financial crisis and maybe I can temporarily postpone another. I’m still working on it. It’s still going to be a tough couple of weeks. Thankfully I don’t pay for the server I use, however the internet is another story…. yah, gotta pay that or Master doesn’t work. So where did we trim the budget. Food. Uh huh… nothing scrumptious for awhile in this house. Just bare necessities. Besides after June we should be good to go. There is light at the end of to tunnel.
Master and I still dream though. We want to go to all the movies we’ve been waiting for. I want to do some more things together outside the home, munches, dinners and then there are company parties coming up too. Oh and the Iowa State Fair. All this I want to do. We will have to see how things are when it comes time for these.
I’ve been a bad girl and Master found out. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him as soon as it happened, but now that he knows I have punishment coming when I’m better. I have no clue what is going to happen but it can’t be great. I’ve been getting fast food, when I know it is forbidden. It has been since the start and I know it’s a downfall of mine. I just crave it sometimes. I’ve been really bad lately. Kinda a comfort thing I think. I don’t know what this will mean for punishment as Master isn’t the physical type but I will have to be prepared for it. Ouch will be an understatement I’ m sure.
I really hate being sick. Not just because I’m sick really; everyone hates that, but because I am not performing my duties as your girl. The house didn’t get cleaned this weekend, the dishes only barely got done. I’ve been been able to please you sexually and I just feel like what I have been able to give you has been inadequate. You have been so wonderful in your patience and love for me this weekend. You’ve given me comfort… at a distance since I know you don’t want to be sick either. You have worried about me and I know you are willing to be relaxed in my rules and duties until I can recover. I’m so grateful for that.
We have a hard few weeks coming up. I hope that we can continue to be strong for each other and find things in our everyday that will lift us up and make us happy to be alive. The struggle we will be facing is only the immediate issue. I can see the end, there will be a time this summer when we aren’t fighting to live, where we can enjoy life as a whole and a time when we can be closer to each other without the worries of survival. I know I obsess over the here and now way too much. With your ability to live in the moment I know I can find a way to just be with you; no matter what tomorrow might bring.
I love you Master. I’m here for you and I want to continue to please you and be yours. (Just as soon as I get rid of this darn cold!)