I’m cramping like you couldn’t believe today. I almost vomited during work today.. not once, but twice. I feel so icky. I have had a nasty headache all day and as Master puts it, “You look terrible.” Yeah, I look and feel terrible. Great.

So how do I plan on serving Master this weekend when I feel like this? How can I serve when all I want to do is take care of myself. Now really I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I did take care of myself this weekend, but that’s not what I had planned. I wanted to be his ray of sunshine after a long week of work. I wanted to serve him with a wonderful bath where I bathe him and a sensual blow job (which may still happen if I feel a bit better).

I’m not really up to snuff am I? I’ve gotten lazy on the things that used to make me feel important. Diet, exercise, clean house, even my website work. All of these things have been pushed aside. For what? Reading. All I’ve done for weeks is read. I love the Harry Potter books but is it worth leaving aside the things that make me feel good about being who I am? I feel I’m neglecting Master too.

We have a munch to attend tomorrow night and I want to be his good girl. I want to be spot on with all my rules and shine for him. I need to show him how much he means to me. It’s also an occasion to get to talk to others in the lifestyle. I’m such an extrovert. I like community and friendship.

Friendship is something I’m lacking lately. I don’t have any friends left here from school. I don’t have any friends nearby that are lifestyle related. Well, there is a newer arrival to munches that I seem to get along with right now and I can say that it would be great to be friends with her. I have to see if our schedules meet up sometime so we can meet again and hang out. If that’s even what you do as adults, or submissives for that matter.

–luna