Countdown

I sit here in a countdown. As I’ve shared; I’m in some form of butt plug training, however without an appropriate butt plug that stays in place it’s quite a challenge. My ass muscles are playing ‘ins and outs’ with my plug in a never ending effort for comfort. I have 30 mins. I’m very glad I have ONLY 30 mins. So this countdown is until I can move, get up, loose the butt plug and count myself a happy submissive who obeyed her Master; forsaking all personal comforts. I can not wait until we can get a butt plug that is more comfortable, will stay seated and well…. will allow me to continue my activities without having to park my ass in a chair for the duration. I dream of ‘comfortable’ butt plugs and an ability to continue them without too much interruption to my activities. Is that too much to ask for?

I’ve been reading some of the other blogs out there, and you guys are getting really philosophical and though-provoking. I can’t compete at all. I can say that you have certainly given this girl a lot to ponder. Like what is a stupid submissive (slave)? kaya brought this up a long while ago and I still wonder if even a very intelligent submissive can be ‘stupid’. Is it a trained naiveness that is learned? Is it a form of being in blind faith? You follow because the trust is so deep, you are completely committed to being with this person and doing as they say that your care for yourself is lower on the ladder. Yeah yeah I’m rambling. I don’t make any sense because I’m still figuring it out of course.

Is TPE possible, and if so what is it to me? This is a hard one because right now I don’t see me in a TPE relationship. I do know that TPE could be possible in anyone’s relationship that truly wants it. I know I read blogs where the author is in what I define a TPE relationship. TPE is when the submissive has given all she has to her Dominant and their life is completely structured for the pleasure of the Dominant. The submissive has no ‘rights’ or has handed them over to her Dominant. It’s that kind of relationship. (Please note that the roles can be She/he as well.)

Are we under the same obligations in our relationship as ‘non-kinky’ folks? This came to me as a thought when I read comments say, ‘well you could always leave him’. The reply is not so!. Now what I see from this is a commitment and life so much stronger than what I’ve ever experienced. I’m not saying that you can’t have that sort of commitment in a non-kinky relationship, but I feel they are harder to come by or not as evident. You stand in a room with a kinky couple and you know they are utterly committed to living differently, to each other and the life they lead. I don’t know, this is hard to explain with the ‘in and out’ game going on. *sigh*

I don’t promise to get back to these topics, or think out loud any further on them. I did want to jot these things down while they were fresh in my head though. I know I may get negative comments and that’s fine. I don’t claim to know or understand any of these topics. These are just ramblings. MY ramblings.

–luna

Possibly related posts:

1. Thinking about Future Training
2. Lightbulb Moment
3. The idea of discipline
4. Question 1: Pain Conflict
5. A bit of the world