February 2007

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Power in Service

How long will I take to learn all that I have to learn? When will Master be completely pleased with my efforts and progress? If it is to be years, do I have the endurance and faith that it will require to continue to grow closer to him, and nearer to the perfection of myself? I ask these questions as I ponder my writing assignment for this week. They are meant to make me think and honestly I have never thought harder than I do when he gives me tasks to enrich myself and help him learn what is in my heart that I may not already see.

I wonder these things as I look at my list of rules and know that while I have made a little bit of progress, it isn’t good enough for me. I want to excel at pleasing him, I endeavor to be his perfect mate. He has plans for more rules for me when I accomplish what I currently have. I know I will take them happily when he is ready to give them. I could see nothing better than pleasing Master in every way.

Wearing his collar has proved to be a wonderful and challenging thing. I know I am owned and loved and because I know this, I also know that I have to work hard to continue to grow in his love and commitment. He would not tolerate it if I went back to the way I was several months ago. I don’t think I could either. I’m happy, truly happy with my role in his life and I know that it can get so much better, purer, simply complete in his love.

I’m utterly devoted to him. I’d like to worship him as my one, my only love and serve him knowing that he cares for me with his life. I can see it in his eyes when he says he loves me; the lust that churns when I walk by him and he reaches for me, claims me; I can see it in his sleep, when I go to wake him for a goodbye kiss before work. I could not have a more enamored Master. He has me completely and I have him in return.


The weather is destined to turn for the ugly long before I have to leave for work tomorrow. I fear that I may be stuck in the town where my job is and not able to get home. I don’t know what I will do if that happens. I don’t like speculating on this, but a blizzard warning is issued for the very time that I will be at work. I live 30 mins from there and driving would be hazardous. Do I dare it or try to stay put? I guess I will know more tomorrow when the occasion arises.

My first full day of work since 2000. I have not worked full time since then. I hope I can adjust well. I know I will miss my naps and for the first few weeks I will be tired. I also know that the money burden will be eased and our lives together will be more comfortable. The changes that this renders are wonderful and mysterious. Only time will tell what it will bring. The future starts tomorrow.



I’m scared. The weather is planning to turn for the worse tomorrow after I am at work. It’s predicted to get worse throughout the evening tomorrow and then develop into ice and snow on Thursday. Thursday is my first full day of work. I’m very scared of the drive home that afternoon; if I can even get there in the morning. I don’t want to be stuck there, but worse I don’t want to be stuck on the road. I don’t have a cell phone and I’m thinking of taking the one supplied at work with me tomorrow in case I get stuck somewhere.

Pray the weather turns a different way and it’s not as bad as they are predicting. We are still recovering from the storm this weekend. About 40,000 are still without power and the power companies are halting work when the storm comes. Those that still have no power are going to have to wait longer. I’m so lucky to have power now. Let’s hope it stays that way.


New Image Gallery

If you haven’t perused my Iron Gate Blog yet, you haven’t seen it. I added an image gallery. Right now it just has avatars in it (mostly ones from pure_blue as she had a ton of moons that I have just loved!). I will add more as I get the chance. Feel free to use them, as I have been given free use of them as well. Enjoy.


A bit of the world

I’m so happy to be working full time soon. It’s scary to start planning what I want to do with what extra cash we will have. I want to pay up on the bills, move to a better apartment and fix my car. Master asked me what sort of things I wanted to spurge on and I honestly couldn’t think of any at first. It was new plates and kitchen appliances, it was dates and new perfume. He wants to make me happy and give me all the things I’d want; but what I want is time. Time to be with Master, time to enjoy life, trips and events, time to just be. Even though Master lists lots of things he’d like to have and I come up with intangible items. It shows how different and how interesting we are as a couple.

Even though we have to struggle the next several weeks I feel a weight lifted off of me; one that has been there for years. I will be able to become one of the people that doesn’t have to live paycheck to paycheck. One that can have a savings account, decent food and clothing. One that can enjoy whatever it is I want almost at the time I want it. From going out to eat, to seeing a movie to getting that pair of shoes I’m drooling over.

Not that he’ll let me waste money but I’m sure I’ll be able to indulge here and there.

Master mentioned tonight that he can’t see why this blog has a readership. He knows it’s unique, as all blogs are but I guess he can’t see why others would be so interested in what I have to say about my life and our relationship. I know it’s out of a sense of comradeship and friendship that people read my journal. I know it’s not because of the sexy scenes; for I don’t share that much of those things. I know it’s not because of all the pictures, for there aren’t much of those either. I enjoy knowing that people read the blog though. It makes me feel welcome and accepted. No matter who I am or what I go through, my journal will be there and so will all the others who read it.


Cliques and a Rant

Cliques are groups of people who want only to associate with themselves. They are in high schools, upper class neighborhoods and can grow anywhere else that people gather. They care only for themselves, gossip about everything, create assumptions about others not in the group and develop a self-pity party. They think they are cool and all powerful.

I joined a submissives weight loss group such as this. The owner constantly complained about her debilitating illness and everyone else tossed their condolences for her struggle. While it does touch me that this woman is struggling with life, I didn’t think it was appropriate for a weight loss group on a weekly basis. I never contributed to her pity party. Once a week practically, was spent wishing this woman well and that she does so much already, that she’s amazing, blah blah. She asks for help on the website, but when I offered; I got turned down. I could have built her a site that was less work (easier to manage) but she saw it as an attack on her ‘skills’.

I had practically withdrew from this site because that’s all that ever seemed to be talked about anymore. No one talked about weight loss and eating, exercise or diet struggle. It was a webmaster pity party and she didn’t mind. Neither did all the members. You know, we all have problems and issues, but all be damned if I’m going to share them in a diet group, that isn’t the place for them. This blog is for my personal struggles.

It is also for my personal rants.

Last week a newer person reported that posts on the forums of this website were making it into Google searches even though there is a log in and members only section on the site. She was in a panic because someone might find her through the site and that wasn’t wanted. The owner gave this long speil about how they have no control over what search engines see on a website and that its the user that needs to be careful. That they need to use a username that won’t be recongized or not post personal information.

I’d like to say for the record that she is wrong. Webmasters that know what they are doing and are not amateurs can stop search engines from getting to areas that they don’t want them.

  1. Create a log in that isn’t browser based. This site uses a javascript login box. If I disable javascript on my browser I can walk into the member portions without a log in. I can also view source on the page when the box comes up and retrieve the log in from the javascript. The reason I can do this is because javascript log in boxes pop up after the page has loaded, even if you only see a white page. Anyone with a little web knowledge can get into this site without a username. Hackers will love this site once it’s found. SPAM heaven!
  2. Require log in on every single page that is private. Basically when you go to yahoo for example, after you log in the first time, every single page you go to that is private it has a script to continue to check that you are who you say you are and have a right to see what you are seeing. If you don’t, it logs you out and blocks the content. This particular website does not have that. If you bookmark an internal members only page, you can go to it without logging in at any point. This does not protect it from Google. If there is a link anywhere to it, it will find it.
  3. Use a robots.txt file. This is a file that ALL search engine bots look for once they fall on a domain. If it exists they follow the rules there. Some can be to follow all the links and index them for the search engine or to skip all the pages altogether. I use robots.txt files for all my sites to govern what is saved and what isn’t.
  4. Go to google and ask that your site be removed from the search engine permanently. If you are afraid of being found, you can have google delete your site from the engine and never send a bot to it again.

These are all valid ways to protect a members only site, or any site for that matter.

As for this particular site, after I posted about why this person’s information was in google I was removed from the group.. as cliques are known to do. I challenged the pity party queen and they didn’t like it. Ignorance is bliss in a group like that. So be it. I can, if I want to, make a site that is more professional and useful than hers, and no one would have to worry about their privacy being broken within the members area. I’ve been nice and not making a competition site because I liked the website owner. Now it’s fair game. Who do you think people would like more? Someone who cares for the users safety and actually weight loss struggles or someone who lets anyone into their site for maliciou intent and throws a self pity party every week when things get bad for her?



EDIT: And now I go and see that she has deleted all my sites from her Toplist. WTF?

EDIT2: She emailed me to tell me I was removed from the toplists because the stats said I only gave her 600 links to her 7000. Well if that’s the way she’s playing it, then she has a TON more sites to remove from her toplist. I was always on the first page of listed sites, so all the others should just go to hell then right? What a way to rationalize her removal of the sites. W/e.

Here is the photo Master just took of me in his new collar! (click to view larger image)

If you want to see the detail of the collar itself, here’s the catalog photo: (click to view larger image)

Master locked it on with a small lock and he has the key. There is also a backup key in our fire safe box just in case something happens.


Stormy Weather

We are getting ready to hunker down into a huge snow storm. The weather is horrible. Predictions are ice and snow, with freezing rain and wind. Oh my. It’s going to be a long weekend.

Full time starts on Thursday and I’m so happy to finally be seeing my issues with money ending soon. I’ve set my vacation time first week of August too. I am hoping that Master will be able to take the time off too. We can spend the time together, really together.

I’ve worked really hard this week and I know that adjusting to the new routine will be hell, but it’s worth it. So very worth it.

New collar picture to come tomorrow hopefully. I look crummy today and I want to look good!


Three months later….

I finally have full time status! I start full time March 1st. I can’t wait! This is an answer to our prayers.

New collar pictures coming this weekend :)


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