How long will I take to learn all that I have to learn? When will Master be completely pleased with my efforts and progress? If it is to be years, do I have the endurance and faith that it will require to continue to grow closer to him, and nearer to the perfection of myself? I ask these questions as I ponder my writing assignment for this week. They are meant to make me think and honestly I have never thought harder than I do when he gives me tasks to enrich myself and help him learn what is in my heart that I may not already see.
I wonder these things as I look at my list of rules and know that while I have made a little bit of progress, it isn’t good enough for me. I want to excel at pleasing him, I endeavor to be his perfect mate. He has plans for more rules for me when I accomplish what I currently have. I know I will take them happily when he is ready to give them. I could see nothing better than pleasing Master in every way.
Wearing his collar has proved to be a wonderful and challenging thing. I know I am owned and loved and because I know this, I also know that I have to work hard to continue to grow in his love and commitment. He would not tolerate it if I went back to the way I was several months ago. I don’t think I could either. I’m happy, truly happy with my role in his life and I know that it can get so much better, purer, simply complete in his love.
I’m utterly devoted to him. I’d like to worship him as my one, my only love and serve him knowing that he cares for me with his life. I can see it in his eyes when he says he loves me; the lust that churns when I walk by him and he reaches for me, claims me; I can see it in his sleep, when I go to wake him for a goodbye kiss before work. I could not have a more enamored Master. He has me completely and I have him in return.
The weather is destined to turn for the ugly long before I have to leave for work tomorrow. I fear that I may be stuck in the town where my job is and not able to get home. I don’t know what I will do if that happens. I don’t like speculating on this, but a blizzard warning is issued for the very time that I will be at work. I live 30 mins from there and driving would be hazardous. Do I dare it or try to stay put? I guess I will know more tomorrow when the occasion arises.
My first full day of work since 2000. I have not worked full time since then. I hope I can adjust well. I know I will miss my naps and for the first few weeks I will be tired. I also know that the money burden will be eased and our lives together will be more comfortable. The changes that this renders are wonderful and mysterious. Only time will tell what it will bring. The future starts tomorrow.