Monthly Archives: August 2006

Discussing my diet

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Master and I have been discussing my diet lately. Well, it’s more like I’ve been discussing it with him. You see that this summer I’ve plateaued and been stuck just above 300 for 4 months now. It’s very agrivating and I’d like to get going again. I know that most of it is loss of interest, desire, and strength to continue. I’ve stopped caring what I eat, how much I eat and if I exercise. I’ve not eaten very healthily for a long while and my care for myself has declined. Master does not wish to have my diet under his control, and it’s something I’d rather be in charge of myself as well, but I’ve asked him that if I haven’t improved in a month if he’d be willing to do little things like control my portions. We shall see if he will need to do that. I have this next month to work on myself.

I’ve been depressed and depressing lately. I worry all the time, as I’ve written before and I can’t seem to keep these thoughts out of my daily life so that I can enjoy the moments that come. I know this is not only hindering my diet and healthy, but our relationship as well. I feel that my anxiety and depression are causing me to stop submitting, and not following my rules that I know exist and those I’d like to work up to. It’s like going back to square one too many times. I need to be on the ball, I need to develop the discipline to acheive what I strive for. My goal is out there, I just have to get to it.

I appreciate my Master’s strength in living through my downs. He has been my rock in all this. I look up to him as the ruler of my all, my love and commander. He owns parts of me I never thought I had given him. Subconciously I feel a connection with him that I never thought I’d feel. He is beginning to become my reason. My reason for anything I do, all that I am and all I can become. It’s hard to believe sometimes that we will be celebrating 2 years in October. Two precious and wonderful years. Full of struggle and growth, full of love and commitment, challenge and defeats. We’ve gotten closer, more complete, nearer to who we truely are with each other. I’m eternally grateful for him in my life.

–luna

I'm here

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Holy cow it’s been a long time since I wrote in here. It’s not all my fault. I forgot to post the 29th, so I had every intention of posting yesterday when Master did something to the webserver and it was down all evening. Now that it’s back I’m getting my butt back up here so that I don’t get my butt in a more uncomfortable position. Master is disappointed that I’ve been forgetting to write in here, and honestly I really don’t feel like I have a lot to say lately.

I’m working daily, and the afternoons is a nap, and tv or coding. I’m a pretty boring person at the moment. I’m working hard on getting back into my diet and exercise, although failing miserably at the exercise portion. I’ve got about an hour and a half left for the week to meet my goal. Ugh.

Well, I have to work shortly, so I’m going to have to finish this later.

–luna

Bad Bad Girl

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I’ve been a very bad girl lately. It’s really inexcusable; as everything is with me lately. I’ve been disappointing, both to myself and to my love and Master. First, if you notice the date of this blog, I am quite late posting, as my rules state it is supposed to be every other day. It honestly slipped my mind, so I can be sure that Master will find a way to not let it slip my mind in the future. A lot of things have slipped my mind lately. Calling him Master, being polite and respectful and all things sexual. They’ve just …. well there is no excuse except my laziness. I know I will have to pay the consequences, maybe today, maybe tomorrow. I await his judgment. My diet has hit a brick wall, I’ve lost no weight since May, I’ve not been eating right or exercising nearly enough. Master and I are going to sit down and write out the goals I want to have and we are going to figure out how to get them to reality.

Master is aggravated for yet again I am hesitating when it comes to blowjobs. This time the procrastination has lasted near a week. I can’t explain it well but I know part of it is that I feel a blowjob isn’t the ‘opening act’ or the ‘only act’ but more like the act before the ‘main event’. I just can’t get myself in the mood to do it when that is the first thing or only thing. I just get a bit offended when we are sitting watching tv or something and he says “I want a blowjob.” A part of me just snaps shut and freezes cold. It just doesn’t seem like the natural flow of things. I get grumpy, throw on my “do I have to face” and just hope that it goes away. Boy does that piss him off. Instead of punishment though he sighs and stews in his own anger and disappointment for hours. During these hours I begin to hate the thought of the blowjob even more because I know he’s going to demand it again. I never used to detest blowjobs, I only hate blowjobs out of context (if that makes sense). He’s gone about 4 days since he asked for his blowjob. He got a wimpy one on that day and I know he wants a full fledged, I’m really into it myself blowjob (cause he enjoys it more) but I just can’t bring myself to do it cold. I need some warm up, lead in, petting, kissing, loving… then ask me for your darn blowjob.

I realize this reads like topping from the bottom, and if that is what I’m doing then Master can treat it accordingly, however I still don’t see me giving blowjobs without any lead in AND have Master enjoy them. They will always be the wimpy “I have to” type. It’s just how it clicks in my head. He’s at his wits end, he’s disappointed and angry and I don’t know how to act around him when he’s like that.

Not to mention it’s been a good 10 days since I had an orgasm myself and the thought of anything sexual is aggravating and I’m almost disinterested. I even flinch if he fiddles with my clit during sex in this state, like I don’t want him to touch me because I’m ‘off’. I get that way when it’s been awhile, kind of like an on off switch. Orgasms keep me in ‘on’ state, but after awhile I’m just ‘off’ and it’s hard to get me back to ‘on’. In off state I feel sex will never happen and live accordingly. Very anti-affectionate, distant and non sensual. I really don’t know why this is, I have just noticed this has been my reaction.

How do others do it? How do they give over their masturbation (or in my case, involuntarily) and orgasms and then still are sexual beings? Is it that their owners give them more pleasure to keep them hungry or are they forced to go about life dry dry dry and still show an animalistic draw to sex? I’d really like to know others situations and how you handle yourself.

–luna

Mental Masturbation

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Mmmmm. God that feels good.

*sigh**wiggle wiggle**squirm*

Oh yeah. *groan*

MMMmm. *squishy slippery sound*

*stroke**groan**moan*

Oh god yes, yes yes…

……..mmmmm……

Not as satisfying but all I can do at the moment… or at all. *sigh*

–luna

Hard Work Revisit

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So about 2 weeks ago I had an epiphany with the help of kaya’s wise words. Submission is hard work. The fact that I had constantly thought that Master wasn’t dominant enough turned the tables to I wasn’t submissive enough. I admit that it’s not a natural thing in me, and while many that may read this then equate that to me not being a submissive, I’d like to say something in defense of all those that are not natural submissives. I WANT to be submissive, I crave it, thrive better when I am submissive and do submit. I grow and respond best when under the care of a dominant person. This makes me submissive. This desire, this need, the burning ache in myself. I am just a different submissive than the natural-tendency folks.

On that end, I have to say that I do come up with a lot of excuses for my habits of slipping out of my submissive state. That’s exactly what they are:

“I was first-born in my family, first-borns always have dominant personalities.”

“I was verbally and physically abused and degraded as a child, I’m defensive.”

“I’ve had a bad day at work/school/life, I don’t feel like being submissive.”

“I’m PMS’ing, don’t mess with me, leave me alone.”

and my all time used one,

“I forgot, I’m sorry, I’ll try harder.”

In all honesty, I never forget, I’m constantly thinking about how Master sees me and how he would be best happier and in control if I could just learn to submit to those basic rules that he laid out. He’s done his part. I asked for rules to follow. I need to step up to the plate with my “first-born attitude” and prove to him that I can follow them.

Needless to say, since Aug 7th when my shock and awe happened, I have successfully followed only half of those rules; the ones I always followed. My speech training ones have fallen by the wayside, my behavior ones are weak and while I am aware of the sexual training, I still don’t perform to the best of my abilities.

I’m not a failure. Failure is something I don’t take well to. I struggle and fight hard to get where I need/want to be. I don’t give up easily at things I feel are worth it (I do give up on the simple things quite easily… not sure how that is). I can’t let Master down, I have to work.

Reading back this seems like a pep talk for myself, and maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I’m honest in this blog if not blaringly so. I currently suck at being Master’s submissive. He adores me and treasures me and shows me everyday that I am worth it for him, why can’t I do the same back? Why can’t I follow the simple rules I ASKED FOR and show him he’s worth it too? Nothing I’m aware of is holding me back, maybe it’s time for some self-inflicted discipline. Maybe some TV denial, or computer denial, extra exercise (ugh) or something. I don’t know.

I’m worth it; he’s proven it to me. Now I need to do the same.

–luna

(Untitled)

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Since I started my job 4 weeks ago Master says I’ve changed. I’m not responsive during the week, I’m not interested in sex until the weekends and I’m cranky and tired most days. He says my behavior and attitude have changed. I wish I could reassure him that it won’t last long, that I will get better and things will level out.

I only hope that is what will happen. I don’t like feeling turned off and constantly tired. I don’t like playing catch up everyday. I don’t like going to bed at 9:30. I don’t like that my body refuses to work for anything less than 8 hours of sleep, no matter what I do.

I have always worried. I don’t think I’ve had a day where no worries crept in. I haven’t been able to stop it. I just need to learn to not let them bother me.

–luna

Stress Writing

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There are times like today when Master says, “Write in your journal today.” and you have nothing to talk about. I ask him for something to write about and he doesn’t have anything either. What in the world does he want me to say that he doesn’t already know? I’m tired, I work hard everyday, I feel bad that I take a nap daily to catch up on the sleep I don’t get at night, I hate that I don’t make enough to pay the bills or get the things we want to make our life more comfortable.

I suffer from stress filled days and uneven bouts of sleep and wakefullness. I dream, I don’t dream it’s all a part of how I live this life. I’m a worry wart, I stress about everything. Master hates it. He wishes that I would relax. He wishes that I would let him worry, but I can’t let things go.

And so I stress.

–luna

Opps!

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I forgot to post yesterday. I hope Master will forgive me.

I’ve had a really busy day today at work, and I’ve decided to try to work on a website that I know will be extremely challenging for me, but I know it will also be rewarding if I can learn things from it. Master is being as patient as possible with my questions that I know can be annying at times. Thank you Master.

I’m working on getting back into my diet, I’ve really fallen behind and have only maintained all summer long. I had hoped to loose 10 lbs by now but I will really have to work to get to my goal by the end of the year. I’ve given the scale to Master so that I don’t use it as obsessively as I have been. I’m hoping that I will be more active in the weight loss groups I’m in so that I can stay focused. I’m doing this for me, I need to succeed.

–luna

Game Date

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Yesterday Master and I went out on a date. Payday yesterday was a good day. I went to the store before coming home, knowing that Master would still be in bed and bought 2 roses. I wanted to surprise him with the flowers, since the last time I gave him flowers he loved it. I like making him smile.

I arrived home to him still in bed. I snuck in bed next to him and ran the rose all down his exposed skin, across his neck, down his arm and he slowly awoke and smiled at me.

“What’s this for?” he said, smilingly.

“Just because I thought you’d like them,” I replied.

“I love it.”

We got up and I asked him if he had plans for the day as I knew it was his day off from work. None were planned so I asked if we could do something. I had a hope for a wonderful date that I knew he wouldn’t turn down.

We got dressed and went out to the local mall. They have a large arcade with Blacklight Miniature Golf and lots of fun things. It brought the kid out in him. I watched him play a few games, he beat me at air hockey (I’m terrible), and he showed me just how good he is at Dance Revolution. I danced my heart out next to him though, it was lots of fun. I didn’t do too bad for a new person. We both sucked at miniature golf, but it was still so much fun. We hugged and kissed in between holes and I have to say it’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

After the arcade we went out to dinner. It was a great time and the food was a welcome change from what we’ve been eating at home. We both gorged ourselves I think. I had some of the best chicken fajitas I’ve had in months. Master had ribs and fries. Mmmm.

We finished dinner and off we went to the next place on my list of fun times. The adult shop. I wanted to get a new toy. I had something in mind but we walked all around the store looking at the goodies. We saw some fun double dildos and put that on our list for another time and I stopped at the vibrating eggs. I had had one in the past and because I never put it in a condom before using it, it died quite quickly. I wanted one. Master agreed that it would be lots of fun and we got a dual egg with varying speeds. I couldn’t wait! We also got our first set of anal beads and I’m now a believer that we need a bigger set ;)

The fun we had when we got home was so hot and exciting as we tried out the new toys. He put on the thigh cuffs and wrist cuffs and had me in a kneeling position with my arms fastened to my thighs. I couldn’t move Master got the entire string of anal beads in my ass and both eggs in my pussy. He even fucked me while the eggs were in there, oh my I was filled to the max and it felt so darn good! He told me that if I was to come that I had to give him a blowjob. I was more then willing and begged to allow me to come for him. The orgasm I had with all that stuff filling me was overpowering and I struggled and strained against my bonds and shivered and quivered for Master.

I think I gave him the blowjob of his life ;) It was so much fun and I enjoyed myself (most likely because I was still buzzing and filled with toys while sucking him. All in all a super good time.

Our date last night was just what the dr ordered. It revitalized us, reconnected us and I feel so much better, a little less stress and so very happy.

I love you Master.

–luna

Write about what you know

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Yes, so I’m taking a bit of my own advice when I think about my last post asking what I should write about. I should stick to things I know, perhaps things I’m exploring, as long as I don’t make it sound expert. Master says I should make sure to revise it and proofread it because he think the most boring essays are those that are just mind dumps. So, I’m trying to come up with the things I know.

I know about how it feels to be in a play partner relationship with no strings attached.

I know all about long distance relationships and cyber collars.

Some play things I know about.

What else do I know?

–luna

Waking mentality

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I am itching to do some programming, but since I have a few sites already, I really need to work on them. The issue I have is I should be writing essays for the sites, so that they have unique and interesting things on them. I’m just feeling that I don’t know enough about anything in order to give any sort of advice or conversation for things.

Any ideas? I’m looking for suggestions for things to write about. Waddayasay?

–luna

My rules

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This is a current list of rules that I have to follow. Last updated 10/26/09

Speech Training:

  • He shall be called Master unless in vanilla public, then I use his given name. This is to include any time I am speaking with Master directly.
  • Use please and thank you liberally.
  • “Yes Master” is an appropriate response, not yeah, yup, yar (you are), or okay.
  • Foul language is not allowed, ever.
  • Don’t make fun of Master.
  • Be polite and respectful.
  • Be forthcoming with problems, worries and troubles.
  • Always answer questions truthfully and honestly. No lying.
  • Reword commands. “I’m going to the store” should become “May I go to the store?”

Routine Training:

  • Wake Master at 9am and 10am every weekday.
  • Prepare his coffee every morning. If he requests it, I shall prepare coffee at other times as well, remembering to turn the darn thing on!
  • I must wear my collar at all times, unless given permission to remove it for bathing purposes. (Now I have a steel locked collar. It never comes off!)
  • I must write in my journal on an every other day basis.
  • I must shave at least every 3 days. That includes, arms, legs, underarms and pussy.
    I have to wear makeup when leaving the house.
  • Bedtime is at 11:30 pm.
  • Exercise every other day.

Sexual Training:

  • Swallowing Master’s semen is a gift and should not be wasted.
  • There is no such thing as “No” when it comes to sexual activities that Master wishes.
  • Wear butt plug to bed every other night. Be forthcoming if it is a bad night for use.

Submission Training:

  • I am responsible for ordering Master’s food at a restaurant and making sure he has his food prepared correctly and his drink is full. If he wants coffee I must make sure he has sugar, cream and a stir spoon. Master’s meal is ordered before mine.
  • I am to hold doors in the required manner: at pull doors I open and wait to the side or behind the door for Master to enter; at push doors I push and enter just inside or behind door for Master to enter.
  • Gas tank is to never fall below half a tank.
  • Motivate yourself to do things yourself.
  • Always keep in mind that your behavior reflects on Master.

–luna

Submission is Work

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It dawned on me, or rather it was explained to me in wonderful terms, that my submission isn’t a one way street. I had constantly thought that I’d be submissive if Master was dominant. I questioned why I wasn’t getting reprimanded or reminded that I wasn’t following the rules that he set up. kaya made some very good points, which she said I could share here.

I went through some similar thinking awhile back. I wanted/needed the rules and the structure, so He’d lay out all these rules. And I wouldn’t follow them. Or I might, for a bit, or sometimes, but I’d often not follow them. And wait to be corrected. Wait to be punished. My thinking was that I can’t submit in a vacuum. I can’t submit if He doesn’t care if I submit.. and why follow rules if nobody is paying attention anyway?

So one day, I was in a snit over this, stomping around and being a brat and He asks what my problem is. I said “You aren’t dominate enough for me.” And He turned to me and said “No. You aren’t submissive enough for ME.”

Master and I have had the same arguements, the same discussion, the exact words. I always thought it was because we were new at this, and while it could have a bearing on things, it’s exactly the cusp of all of this. Master has given me the rules that he wishes me to follow. He’s done what I’ve asked of him. Now it’s my turn. I need to follow them. Whatever I do I have to get my way back, I have to get my submissive drive back. When I get up in the morning I need to think only of pleasing Master.

I fail at that so many times. My mind shuts off after awhile and I don’t think about it anymore. I need a personal reminder. Maybe it’s time to put the signs up again. I had signs up when I was alone, before Master moved here to remind me to put my collar on when I got home. It worked and I remembered, it became a habit and now I don’t go anywhere without it.

Like kaya, I’m sure I will struggle and my inner voice will say, just as hers has, “He isn’t watching, He doesn’t care.” I need to do it anyway. I need to do it so that I am fullfilling my part. With my compliance he can begin to take over his role more, he will feel the confidence he needs to move further and I know that I will follow.

I really want these rules, I want to follow them. I need to take that want and do it. I need to make them a part of me.

He’s taken that step, I need to take mine.

–luna

8 Things: Tagged by annissa

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Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs.

1. I’m a terrible housekeeper. I say I would like to be a house subbie, but in all truth I’d probably fail at it unless I got a strong urge to clean. Growing up my mother wasn’t super big on cleanliness and I’m afraid it’s worn off on me.

2. I’ve lost 40 lbs since September of last year! I’m shooting for 50 lbs by the end of September this year and a total 150 overall in the next 3 years. Dieting is never easy, but I’ve begun to conquer my food demons and change my habits for the good.

3. The toilet paper roll has to roll over the top. I absolutely hate it when it comes from underneath and have been caught changing it at friend’s houses.

4. Both of my long term relationships started out as online relationships. I have a strong opinion about cyber relationships though, and tend to try to encourage people to meet each other before committing to anything.

5. I can’t make up my mind between stingy or thuddy. I like stingy but thuddy can be delicious too. I think it will take much more testing to know for sure ;)

6. I love Mythbusters! I have to watch it everyweek. Adam and Jamie Rock!

7. I’m a channel surfer. I can’t stand commercials and tend to flip channels during them. I don’t think I’ve seen an entire show without flipping through the other 80 channels before returning. It drives Master nuts!

8. I’ve watched Disney’s 101 Dalmatians over 100 times in my life. It’s been a good 5 years since the last time, and I think the desire to do it again, is over. It’s a fact I’m not too proud of…

I TAG:

iansgeisha

Joy

tia

angel

Pepe’s angel

Sage

–luna

A Weekend

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It’s been a long time since I’ve had a weekend in which I didn’t have school work to do, and I didn’t have to go to work. All I have to do is some housework and find time to relax and enjoy things. Relaxing is going to be the hard part. As most of you know, I stress about money a lot. It’s nerve wracking for Master because he wants me to be happy and not worry about these things. I talk about it all the time and when I’m not talking about it, I’m thinking about it. None of these things solves the problem so I don’t know why I can’t just let it go. I want to let it go.

Master has the potential for a phone interview with a very large well-known company in California. I hope and pray that he will get the job, it’s perfectly suited for him and while it would mean moving there I’m ready for anything. I have no clue what the standard of living is over there, so I need to try to research that and see how his pay over there will pay the bills. I’m not telling my brand new job unless the move is actually scheduled to happen. No need worrying them before hand. If any of you live in California and could let me know what the average is for renting/utilities/gas/groceries/etc are, I would appreciate it immensely.

I am enjoying my job. It has quieted down since the installation of all the new Multifunction devices we placed and I’m having to go out less and less to check on them, clear jams, fill with paper, etc. I’m sure it will pick up some as we start to take away their old faithful HP printers next week. My team leader (he hates the word boss) says he’s getting very positive feedback about me, and that makes me feel really good. I like knowing that the clients I’m working with like me. It also feels so good to know that every 2 weeks I bring home money, it’s been a long time since I’ve done that.

It makes me realize that even though I see a dream life of being a stay at home submissive/wife I may not be able to do that full time. I may need to still earn money in some form to feel like I’m fulfilling my part of this relationship. It could be an online business (we have one we are dreaming up), it could be my flogger/toy making. I’m also dreaming up beaded jewelry making. All of these things I would love to do, if we had the finances and the time. Dreams keep us alive.

The Blogathon was a great success and I’m happy to have been a part of it. I raised $474.50 for the Institute for 21st Century Relationships. I know that it seems silly but I truly feel that I did something so powerfully good; that I may have impacted the way we live in some small way, somehow.

If fallen behind on my submissive training and lifechange. I’m constantly aware of how I’m not measuring up, how I’m not doing what I should have and how disappointing this has to be for Master. So, while I’m aware, why am I not correcting myself? Why is it when I’m not using please and thank you, or saying Master’s name more often that I don’t get reprimanded or reminded? I don’t know, I only know that I am beginning to feel like a failure and it’s all my fault.

–luna

Interviews

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From hislilstar (tia)

1 — Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 — I will respond; I’ll ask you five questions.
3 — You’ll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 — You’ll include this explanation.
5 — You’ll ask other people five questions when they want to be
interviewed.

These are what tia asked me

1-What would your perfect evening be?

My perfect evening would be a candlelight meal at a restaurant when Master lays his affection on thick (not unusual), a walk amidst people (with more pda) and a long drawn out cuddling and sex and at the end of it all I can fall asleep in Master’s arms. I rarely fall asleep with him at my side and I would love for him to be patient enough to do that once. It’s such a wonderful feeling when he lays with me as I drift to sleep.
2- What was your favorite all time scene either that was with you or that you saw, that just stuck with you?

OH, I know just the one. I’m going to copy/paste the story from another post:

Glass Buzz

Master was frisky after the munch last night and I was feeling the need for some fun too. It was late and even though sleep was starting to knock on my door I encouraged Master to tease me and watch my body respond. He wanted to play with a few of our new toys we got last week and I was anxious to try them out too.

Opening the nightstand drawer he withdrew our first glass dildo. I had never felt anything like it and was eager to see what it was like. We also bought another lube, that promised to not be so sticky after awhile. It was silicone based and felt nice. He also took out one of my favorite toys, of which this was the second one (I used the first one to death). A pocket rocket. It vibrates just right and I can get off faster than anything else I’ve used.

The glass dildo was chilly and he held it a bit to warm it and sucked on my nipples till they were hard. He leaned up then and I grasped his cock; I love playing with it and have always had a facination with cock. I love stroking it and making him moan and shiver with pleasure. He applied a small amount of lube to the glass dildo and I watched him in anticipation. Down it went to my pussy and it felt so soft and yet hard too. It slipped in nicely and I have to rave about the way it feels. I imagined that it would feel really hard and foreign, but after the remaining chill subsided it felt really good. This dildo has a curve to it and a slightly larger nub on the end so it rubs just the right spots for me. He teased me with it, moving it in and out and I really loved it.

I continued stroking his cock as he then applied a small amount of lube on the vibe and turned it on. It’s loud, for starters and quite fun to play with all over the body, as Master discovered as he trailed it over my skin, inside of my thighs and nipples. God I love that toy! Once he nested it in my wet folds I jumped and moaned. Goodness that was a good vibe. All the large ones with multispeeds and this little rocket puts them to shame. I was on the edge in no time and Master continued moving the glass cock in me and teasing my clitty with the vibe. Before long I was begging to come and he let me. It was so glorious!

He wasn’t done, I got him off (that was fun) and then he fucked me. The little vibe still rested on my clit and I was hyper sensitive, overloaded with sensations. God it felt so wonderful to have Master inside me and my pussy all tingling from the vibe. He used me hard and it felt so good. I got to come again and he did too. What a way to drift off to sleep!

Moral of this story? Try a glass dildo! It’s worth it.

3-How long have you been kinky? Also what braught it to you?

I’ve been declared kinky for about 4 years, I started exploring D/s 3 years ago. My ex husband wasn’t as adventurous as I had thought and I started to ask more often for the mild kinky things that I thought would please me. He didn’t want to do anything. It got worse and I finally left him. I’ve not looked back.

4-What are some of your favorite meals?

Roast chicken and mashed potatoes.

Bratwurst and saurkrat

Breakfast, anything breakfast

Chinese

5- What is an area kink related that you would like or are always trying to improve on?

I would like to go into corset training at least part time. I have always been interested in them.

I’m always trying to improve my sexual availability. I need to stop saying no to Master. This is a hard one.

_____

Alright, that was fun! Your turn!

–luna

Work

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Master is working hard this week. I wish I could help him other than going to work everyday. I want to relieve his workload. The only thing I think about is working harder so that Master wouldn’t have to. I’m not sure why, he wants to work too. I feel a need to help make our lives better than they currently are. I’m really enjoying my work, even though some days are really difficult. It’s fullfilling to know I’m trying to earn part of what we live on.

Master says I worry too much and I know my anxiety is horrible. It obsesses me when I’m overdue on bills. I wish I could stop worrying about things. I really do. It’s a part of me now.

–luna