Submissive Journal Prompt #1: One Word Association

From Kindlings:

What words do you associate immediately with the following words?

- fear

Failure. I fear failure at all things, but moreso at failing Master. I want to please him at everything and when I don’t do well, I fear his disappointment. So maybe it’s not failure I fear but his disappointment at failing.

- doubt

The uncertain future of life. It’s so random and I’m a very “need to be in the know” type person. I don’t do well with a lot of spontaneity and I am when I am uncertain about my future I doubt things.

- kneel

Something I wish I could do. Because I am overweight and have bad knees I don’t get to kneel at Master’s feet as I’d like to. Instead I have a large pillow that I sit on, affectionately my subbie pillow that when I want to sit with Master in that way I pull it out. It makes me feel special and loved.

- submit

Submission isn’t an easy road for me. I’m independent in life but I feel the most fullfilled when I can please my Master, and only him. Others I am not submissive too. It’s a happy place in my heart where I can serve my Master and do anything he may need.

- deprivation

Sensory deprivation. One of my favorite activities. From basic blindfolding to earplugs and *gulp* gags. It’s all a part of what I enjoy in this sexual lifestyle.

- responsible

I’d like to remove most of my responsibility at home and hand it over to my Master. It’s a long slow process but one that I know I can acheive.

- brainwash

A misconception of the public about this lifestyle. Dominants do not brainwash their subs! That’s abuse, nonconsensual and I don’t condone that.

- collar

I’m wearing it now. It’s thick leather with a ring on it. My first gift from my Dominant and one I hope to never have removed.

- tears

I cry alot, from sad things, to being happy. From tv shows and funeral processions. It doesn’t even have to be someone I know. I cry anyway. Other people’s saddness rubs off on me.
- complete

How I feel now that I have my Master. Even if it wasn’t D/s I’d be so complete because he is my love of my life and that’s the best feeling in the world.

- accountability

Something I do a lot for my diet. I am accountable for what I eat, that’s that.

- isolation

Um… I dunno what to say on this one.

- authority

Master has ultimate authority. ‘Nuff said.

Possibly related posts:

1. VT vs. RT
2. Q & A: What’s the difference between BDSM and the Lifestyle?
3. Thankful
4. Gratitude x5
5. Q & A: khouria wants to know why I am into BDSM?