What, in your eyes, makes a person Dominant?
A Dominant carries specific qualities for me that express who he is to the submissive and to the community. These qualities are those that I look for in any person that says they are Dominant.
The first one of importance to me is self control. A Dominant shouldn’t upset easily and should show a managed and easy temperment. To me it is a comforting effect to know that this person can handle themselves and their emotions well. I know that they are not quick to punish, irrational, nor harsh. A submissive under a person’s domain that has emotional issues, as we all do at certain times, will be cared for with gentle firm reassurance and guidance.
A Dominant will have heart. This means that they show compassion, honesty, sensitivity and patience. They are human after all. Dominants who can express themselves well and show they are emotional beings as well rank high on my list of those that I respect. A Dominant that can care for the weakest and smallest among us in humility shows a strength of mind that can bring a submissive to awe.
Something always stressed in this lifestyle is also considered an important trait for Dominants. This is communication. Not only the ability to talk, but initiate communication with their partner and provide knowledge, share feelings, and add reassurance to any situation. As a submissive, being able to say anything to your partner within open communication lines is paramount.
Trustworthiness is the cornerstone of a Dominant. If you can not develop trust with partners, within the community and others it is hard to be taken seriously at face value and earn the respect that Doiminants so treasure in the scene. The comfort that a submissive receives from placing his or her trust in a Dominant helps solidify their feelings. If s/he knows that this trust will be protected through the previous qualities mentioned s/he would continue to strive to please. In turn they will grow.
A Dominant should have the ability to foresee what may or may not happen and then prepare for it thoroughly. They should also know to research and learn about an aspect of play before attempting it themselves. A Dominant needs to be able to watch their submissive for signs of bad habits, or destructive behavior then find a way to curb it effectively and completely.
Lastly a Dominant should be creative. A Dominant that has no creativity would soon become boring and predicable. If the submissive can expect and know just how the Dominant would respond it works against the submissive’s training. It provides and outlet for bad behavior and unruly control. Play should always be varied and different, even slightly to provide excitement both for the Dominant and the submissive.
Also, a Dominant should have the desire to control, the desire to work with the submissive through everything that may be thrown at them, and a physical or emotional desire for the person they are working with. Without this, the other qualities would be mute.