From Submissive Journal Prompts- Photo Prompt: Write whatever comes to your mind when you look upon this picture. It can be a thought, a story or perhaps just a caption/title for the image.
When I look at this picture I feel the disappointment I currently have in myself. I have been lying to myself about my eating habits since Friday. I feel horrible now because I look at the scale and it’s 5 lbs over what I was last week. Now, granted some of this can be bloat from that week impending, but I still didn’t track all the food I eat, I edited portions to try to make it within my calories. You may be asking why? I’m not really sure, lying to myself may have clouded my need to just not be on a diet at that time, but still want to show someone that I was still recording.
In lying to myself I also lied to Master. This is a severe offense and can be punishable if he so chooses. I have asked him to watch my eating for awhile till I can reset my mind and body to diet mode. As my punishment he said he will be watching what I eat very closely and chastising me if I’m not careful. I know he doesn’t want to have to do this, and I thank him for his care about me and what is good for me. I will do what is asked and I will get back on my diet and work as aggressively as possible to reclaim the weight I had lost and keep going.
Also, in lying to myself I have lied to my friends in the support group. They look to me for support just as they look to others. I have been playing the do as I say not as I do game, and it’s not fair to them. I need to admit my failures to them as well and hopefully they can help me keep going.
I’m sorry to me and I’m sorry to those I hurt along the way.
–luna
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I'm a large, curvy, lustful submissive learning the ropes in a full time D/s relationship. My explorations with love and life and BDSM have brought me closer to the edge of pain and pleasure, deep desires for rope bondage and debauchery but moreso a desire to delve deeper into submission and service to my Master 
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Luna -
I’ve read your thoughts for a while – linking from another I ran across. You’ve worked so hard on the coursework and I’ve been proud of your progress. Why am I writing to you now? I’ve been there as far as the struggles with weight. It’s incredibly difficult and tied in with your self image, your energy level, and your need to grow. Don’t give up on yourself. You’re a beautiful girl. Think about finding something that’s more permanent than a diet – you’ll feel better and you’ll see the pounds start to slide off. You’re worth it.
jocelyn
jocelyn,
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve not always called this a diet, for some reason it’s just been within the past few months that it changed. I’ve wanted to make a lifechange and eat well for life and improve how I was raised. Perhaps I need to try to get back to that train of thought.
–luna