Master has noted that I’m not home much this week. I’m so busy with classes and work and working out and munch functions that he hasn’t gotten a lot of my time. This is just one of those things that happens in a regular relationship. Sometimes it’s just impossible to be at Master’s feet all the time. I know he understands, and I miss spending time with him too, but I feel that there will just be more times like this until I am done with school and can settle into a routine of work/housework and making Master happy.
I have quite a bit of homework already for this weekend and have begun planning it out so that I can still get work done and hopefully be of the right mind to play. Master wanted to on Sunday but I wasn’t in a good mood and any of you understand that if you aren’t in the right mood, it just won’t work.
I have begun a difficult but necessary task. Like Angel, I have started a blog that will chronicle my childhood. I am fortunate to say that I never went through as much as she did, but as every story is unique, so is mine. I have only just started it so there really isn’t anything there yet but if you wish to follow me in my walk into the past, you are welcome to do so. I feel that getting the junk out of the attic and facing my past it will help me with my weight issues and my nightmares that happen every so often. Shattered Future
I received our new toys from BDSM Gear today! Thank you starla and your Master for beautiful new cuffs, thigh cuffs and dreaded gag. The gag wasn’t really my choice, but you do was Master desires right? I got to model the new set for Master last night and he loved it.
Now if you haven’t noticed, but how could you, I redid my layout here for this blog. I’ve had no comments about it so I’m going to assume that it’s okay. If you look the old navigation is now on the left hand side, all the links are still here on the right, I removed nothing from the old one. Master says I’m addicted to coding and changing things. This one I have to give some credit to Fae as I saw something with this layout on her designs and wanted to do it for my blog. This is mostly her code, with some changes in color and size and the image is still the one I’ve had. She gets credit so don’t pounce on me for stealing her design.
I treated Master to a spa day here at home. I bathed him, toweled him down and massaged baby oil into his skin. He loved it and thanked me for caring for him so much. I’m glad he liked it, it made me feel so good to be his.
I have got to try and get housework done today. I have a book to read for Wednesday that I’ve only just started as well. So much to do and so little time. I’m considering dropping one of my useless classes. I don’t like the way the teacher teaches no matter how much I like the topic.
I’ve been swamped with all manner of work lately and haven’t really had time to reflect on anything. Sadly I am not missing that either.
Yesterday I turned into Master’s little sex machine and was so freakin horny from the time I came home till the time I went to bed, I can’t explain it. I just wanted him and got used quite well in the process.
Today I worked so hard on work, and homework and other things that I feel sapped of energy. Yay me. One more day and then the weekend!
Master has been very kind to me lately as I struggle once again with shoulder pain. I wish I could afford the Dr bill to find out what is wrong. I hate that I don’t have health insurance. So many things that the trip to the Dr said the pain could be and none of which I can afford. I’m on pain meds again and they make me all groggy and I sleep like a log with em.
I have started DJing again for an internet radio station. It’s called the House of Music and you can find them online at House Of Music Live. I DJ Tuesday early evening and Saturday afternoon. If you wanna tune in, head to the website and get the link! I’d love to know what you want to hear.
Tomorrow is my long day at school. I won’t be home until after 8pm. The day just seems to drag on forever and ever. I just hope that I won’t be hurting too or I will be miserable. At least I know I will be eating healthy.
As I go around the blogland I always come back to one point. Some people are really good at telling stories, others sharing their lives and still others aren’t good for anything but quizes and tag games. (No offense to anyone really, this is just a generality.) I try to figure out where I am within all that. I’d like to think I’m a happy medium. I just don’t know. I tell stories, occasionally. I’m great with just sharing my life, I reflect a lot which makes my trip into the submissive an easier thing. Master learns what he needs to from it so I guess all in all, this journal is doing it’s job, just as I’m sure other’s journals do what they are supposed to do.
Tonight Master gave me an option of giving him a blow job or receiving anal play. With all my queasiness about anal play and things to do with my ass, no matter how much I enjoy the “end” result, I can’t believe I choose anal over sucking his dick. Then again a girl sometimes just doesn’t feel like sucking and let’s face it, he’s gotten quite a few blow jobs in the past 2 weeks, as I’ve pointed out to him.
So I went into the bathroom to prepare, shave, bathe and all that jazz; not knowing what Master has planned, if it’s a full blown scene or just play. When I come out of the bath, he reassures me that it’s just some play. He wants to explore the toy situation again and see if what I have been experiencing is all in my mind or if there is other things affecting me. The anal toys we have are made of jelly and rubber and one is this plastic like material. Since Master arrived, and not before, I started getting a burning sensation, quite severe whenever anal toys are used on me. It’s almost an instant thing. From what I’ve deduced the rubber definitely does it. Not really in my pussy but my ass just flares up. We both thought that maybe it was going to fast, or not enough lube. Something like that.
It turns out from testing today that the rubber ones are still a solid NO for my ass. On a side note, he was able to get 6 fingers in there, surprised me! I’m such a whore Master would say
Yesterday driving conditions turned dangerous and I had to get home. I started out doing just fine, going about 15 mi under the speed limit. I’m a good driver, always cautious but nature had it in for me.
At a four way stop, there is a curved lead into the right hand turn, so that it’s just a yield sign, I slowed, what I thought was enough, but it turned out as I was recorrecting to continue straight I hit a slick patch too fact and fish tailed out of control, spun 180 degrees into the other lane then down almost face first into a ravine next to a corn field. I was panicky and shaky.
I knew that if I just sat there I would be stuck so what do I do ( and you can call me crazy) I rocked my car out of the settled spot and crept along the bumpy corn field, praying I wouldn’t hit a really deep spot for about 100 yards. I knew this cornfield had a tractor outlet coming up, and I knew it was an incline but I was going to try it anyway. I launched my car up the incline, praying it had enough traction and slowly, rocking carefullly up the incline I actually made it up to the road again. I stopped, put my car in park and shook. I thanked all manner of gods and nature that I was okay and that my car seemed okay. I waved to the cars that had seen me go in and pulled over to see if they could help so that they knew I would be okay and slowly I crept back on the road heading home.
I had 5 miles to go yet. For awhile I thought my car was shaking miserably but whenever I took a deep breath the shaking stopped and I realized that shaking was me. When I pulled into the parking spot I got out and looked at my car the best I could in the blinding snow. There were corn stalks stuck in the wheel wells but nothing looked to be leaking or damaged. I will have to find out on Monday if anything is wrong. I am fine except for muscle aches in my arms and legs and a mild headache from the endorphines that coursed through my body yesterday.
How do you address others in the lifestyle? Do you automatically give strangers respect, or give automatic courtesy and wait for the individual to earn personal respect? — Kindlings
This very question comes up on practically every list I’m on, every real life group, every conversation on IM’s and on IRC and the confusion of new people, of different protocols and personal opinions sometimes makes it a heated debate. I usually don’t contribute too much to the conversation because I know that each person is different.
I address people in the lifestyle the way the introduce themselves. If Peter walks up to me and says, “Hi, I’m Sir Peter.” I will call him Sir Peter. If he just says, “Peter” then that is what I call him. I feel that a person will introduce themselves how they would prefer to be addressed or they wouldn’t have given that name to you to use. I always introduce myself as luna and that is what I prefer. This applies mainly to real life encounters, meetings, munches and events. My Master does not yet require me to address Dominants as Sir or Ma’am but I also know that he would not disapprove if one day I started doing that.
My address of people on IRC is different. I “grew up and learned” from IRC before I took it to real life and I still hang on to a few of the things that were requested of me from people online. Those things are Sirs and Ma’ams to those with capped nicks and courteous replies all around. This isn’t to say I’m not courteous with everyone, it’s just more pronounced and exaggerated online.
As far as respect, in my opinion it is earned. Everyone deserves courtesy and was taught to me as a child, I continue it now. Courtesy is simply, please and thank you’s, polite listening, and no rudeness. A person may be a stranger, but they are still a person.
–Begin Personal Rant–
Master has gotten into the habit of saying this quite often, at least this week. Now on a normal occasion where this would come in is if I had forgotten to say thank you, as I’m supposed to. Lately that “reminder” has come immediately after Master doing something for me. He doesn’t even give me a chance to see what he did or ask about something that I don’t understand, he just expects a thank you right away.
Now I know I’m to be grateful and honest with my pleases and thank-you’s. He requires that of me. I’m still learning to do it all the time, but to be prompted before I get a chance to remember on my own, feel sincere in my reply he wants it. I feel really annoyed with his current attitude at the situation.
I snaped at him and told him if he really wanted me to be sincere he needs to give me more than 30 secs to see what it is I’m supposed to be thankful for. As an example today Master did a symlink to My Music folder so that the start menu goes to the right place. Now I investigated it, and then asked him how he did it. His first words weren’t “I did a symbolic link.” they were “A thank you would be nice.” Well, that just put me off to the whole thing and I blew my top. Give me a freakin chance to appreciate what you’ve done, for Christ’s sake!
He told me “end of discussion” and I’m still put off, so here I am, writing the rest of my thoughts down so that I can stop being upset at his expectation. Life will go on.
It was some of the most mind-blowing sex I have ever had. Last night was incredible and I can’t even figure out why.
After Master and I returned home from the munch we were both pretty horny and wanted each other. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Somehow the sex seemed so much more intimate, powerful and it just overtook me. My body and soul was his to play with. And that he did I can’t even really talk about it, for the feeling that I will loose the power that it held over me and my love for Master. He is my love forever and ever.
Today I still feel like I’m recovering from a very hard play session. I’ve got a mild headache, body aches and the blahs. I can only hope they go away soon.
I also am working on setting up my other harddrive to be my OS drive. I’m still moving stuff over, but hopefully by the end of next week I will be able to remove the poor drive from my computer altogether.
I see that I was tagged from Angel, and so I will try to answer.
7 Things To Do Before I Die:
Publish a collection of poetry.
Travel to England.
Let my mom know that she is forgiven.
Build a Spanish poetry database.
Loose 100 lbs.
Write down as much of my life story as possible
Try 3 foods that I thought I never would.
7 Things I Can’t Do:
I can’t do any car maintenence.
I can’t swallow. Ok, so maybe that’s an “I won’t”
I can’t go shopping without making a list.
I can’t sew (I can stitch, but get behind a sewing machine… and I’m lost)
I can’t drive long distances.
I can’t understand prejudice.
I can’t live without chocolate milk.
7 Things That Attract Me To My Spouse(Master):
His voice, gotta love English accents
His ability to know what I’m thinking before I say it
I love his ass.
Master’s power to make me feel so beautiful and special, even when I’m not feeling that way.
I love his smile and wink when he looking at me
The way he makes me want to be his slave forever and ever.
7 Things I Say Most Often:
I love you.
What do you want for dinner?
Can I watch some TV while I eat?
Response to “Whatcha doing?” — Reading blogs
7 Books I love:
Blindness by Jose Saramago
The Vampire Chonicles of Anne Rice
Kushiel’s Legacy by Jacqueline Carey
Harry Potter Series by JK Rowlings
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice writing as Anne Rampling
7 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again:
Gone With The Wind
Dances with Wolves
Body of Evidence
The Lion King
7 People to tag:
anyone else wanna do it??