October 2005

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I hope everyone has a wonderful and haunting Halloween.

Saturday was a fun Halloween party for the local munch group. Master and I had a great time and saw some fun demos. There was a violet wand demo, and I know Master really wants a kit. Someday we will make enough for it. There was also a single tail demo that was fun to watch as well.

I got some henna done on my right arm as well. It looks like a lace cuff and I love it. I Hope I can maintain it to keep it the 1-3 weeks that it’s supposed to last. It took about an hour to do and only $10. :)



While it may look like I have forgotten to post to this blog countless times, or that you are cheated with a short “informational” post, I’d like to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you.

**These are not wholly my thoughts, but the ones discussed in a group function last night. Take them or leave them as you wish.**

Last night was my D/s Forums for the group I’m a participant. The submissive topic that we discussed was personal responsibility. There are a few points that were interesting to discuss. “The Doormat Submissive” was one of them. While this descriptive gets a lot of interpretations, the one we choose last night seems to fit. This submissive believes that his or her life and role in the relationship should be passive, that their thoughts and opinions don’t matter nor should they be voiced. This type of submissive, from our talk, holds the Dominant higher than a human (closer to god-like we discussed) and holds no responsibility for his or herself. The one slave within our group said that while we emphasize on submissive’s behavior, there are slaves just like this as well.

Another thing we talked about was the definition of consensual and voluntary. I feel these are very important terms when you begin your life as a submissive. I’m not going to give a speech about what consensual is, most, if not all, people have an idea what they consider consensual. What I’d like to add though is that we discussed that the two people in the relationship should have the same interpretation of the word for the roles they assume to work right. Voluntary is a bit different. Not many really understood what voluntary was within our discussion. Voluntary is not just that you choose to do it/be it but that there was no viable option. It’s within this last part that they seemed confused but look at it this way. You can volunteer for an event, and carry it out, but did you have to do it? You could have chosen to not participate. However to be voluntary is that you choose a certain path because you couldn’t see yourself doing/being anything else. I hear a lot of the time with the people I hang out with in the lifestyle, “I just can’t be anything else, I am Dominant/submissive and that’s just what I want to be.”

On a side, those that ceremoniously or not, leave the lifestyle (we see it a lot online in blogs) aren’t opting out from the lifestyle. I see it as they found a viable option to explore. That doesn’t mean that they have stopped being Dominant or submissive, but that the voluntary effort turned elsewhere. Granted that is not the only reason people leave the lifestyle, and I’m not grouping them all together, nor intending on making a group assumption, but this is one way of thinking about it without thinking they have abandoned the lifestyle.

I found a short essay online, one that worked wonderfully to put out a point and to center the forums last night on the topic at hand. The web address is: http://members.fortunecity.com/chezmoi/sub.html and this is what the submissive had to say (spelling and grammar has not been corrected):

On being a submissive ~ A few words from the heart…The word “submissive” describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. While it places many responsibilities on the Dominant, it does not in any way diminish yours.
Your responsibility for your choices, for your health, for your well~being. You are also an active partner in the relationship you enter~ you are submissive, not passive.
Furthermore, being submissive does not necessarily mean agreeing with everything the Dominant says or does. It does mean obeying it, unless there is a very valid reason not to. You do have the right to express your feelings, your concerns, your thoughts~ a good Dominant will always listen, though not He or She will not necessarily agree.

There is no ‘check~list’ on how to be a smart submissive. The ideas below are thoughts i gathered from Dominants as well as submissives, they are highly recommended to follow when engaging in an Rt D/s relationship or when moving from a Vt one to an Rt one.

BDSM is not a democracy by any means or stretch of the imagination… submission means giving over yourself, your rights, your desires to another… it is a gift… make sure it is given to a responsible person… not some fly by night dominant who can not deal with it… Being a dominant is an awesome responsibility that most honestly are ill equiped to handle… you the submissive, have to take responsibility for your own actions in chosing the appropriate dominant…if you do not take the time to get to know the dominant, throwing yourself blindly at the dominant, professing your undying devotion and giving yourself to them, without taking the time to know whether that person is right for you, then you have only yourself to blame.

But the bottom line for you should always be to follow your heart ~ if something does not feel right, don’t do it, and if something does, make sure you can try it without taking any unecessary risks. Listen to your heart and to your insticnts ~ and they will not lead you astray.

Thank you for listening.


Uneventful event

My birthday yesterday went well. Master did my chores for the day so I didn’t have any to do. Isn’t that great? We didn’t do anything special, except an unceremonious pull over the knee for my 28 spankings.

Got a lot of work to do for class and hopefully I will get my next job for work. We really need the money about now.


A Bit of Depression

I’m in a battle right now of emotions, worries and stresses. I hate getting depressed and well I don’t know anyone who really does. I’ve put my diet on hold while I get my mental state back in check. I just don’t need the added stress. I’m still exercising at the gym just not as hard.

I have this paper due at the end of the semester that is already causing me some stress because I just don’t feel the need or desire to start it yet, but I’d rather have most of it done by Thanksgiving break so that afterward I’m not so pushed to the end. I just need to sit down and do some of it. I’m not sure I can right now, I really can only concentrate for 20 min at a time.

Master has been so helpful and just is there for me when I need him. I have never felt so comforted.


I Have Moved!

Please note the new address for the blog, if you clicked on a link from elsewhere, you have been redirected here for the time being. When the domain luna.kinkygroups.com disappears, you will no longer be redirected. Please update and change your links to the new address http://www.the-iron-gate.com/luna/ivytrellis.html Thank you!


Moving Blog

This is just a notice to let you know that I will be moving my blog within the next few days. My domain has expired and I will be moving it to http://www.the-iron-gate.com domain. Stay tuned for more information when I have it.



I always need reassurance and Master has been giving me a lot. I’m super stressed lately and a bit ragged with homework. I’m not really sure what to share here as my mind isn’t very organized right now. I have thoughts running through my mind and none of them have any steady staying. I’m not feeling well, I’m not working hard on my diet and only Master knows just how stressed I am right now. He’s had to stop what he’s doing and give me attention, just a hug or kiss or touch to sitting with me for awhile. I’ve been so grateful to have him around lately. I hope this stress ends soon.


National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Susan Wright, NCSF Spokesperson
(917) 848-6544

Wave of Obscenity Prosecutions Leads to Closure and Self-Censorship of SM Websites

October 20, 2005 – Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has announced that his office will specifically target “bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as
sadistic and masochistic behavior” in pursuing new obscenity prosecutions. The Department of Justice began recruiting in late July for a new anti-obscenity squad to pursue obscenity prosecutions, and the FBI announced in September that it was forming an anti-obscenity task force to crack down on pornography.

Any website that has content containing “bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior” should be forewarned that prosecution is possible. Additionally, Federal sentencing guidelines state that any obscenity-related punishment should be “enhanced for sadomasochistic material.”

Forty people and businesses have been convicted of obscenity since 2001, and 20 additional indictments are pending according to Andrew Oosterbaan, chief of the Justice Department’s child exploitation and obscenity section. There were only four obscenity prosecutions during the eight years of the Clinton administration.

Though adult content is, in theory, protected by the First Amendment, only a jury can determine if a work is obscene or not under the subjective set of standards that vary from one community to the next established in the 1973 Supreme Court ruling, Miller v. California.

Text is not inherently more protected than images when it comes to obscenity charges. The erotic fiction website Red Rose Stories is facing obscenity charges after federal agents raided the owner’s home on October 3rd, taking computer equipment and diskettes that contained all of their files and site information.

The Department of Justice is clearly hoping that websites will self-censor or remove their content entirely. Midori, a fetish model and SM educator who teaches classes on bondage, has removed her website, BeautyBound.com, citing
fear of obscenity prosecution. The owner of three SM websites, known as GrandPa DeSade, removed his websites from the Internet. SuicideGirls.com also announced they are self-censoring their materials over concerns about a possible obscenity crackdown.

Recent prosecutions of obscenity on websites include: A former police officer in Lakeland, Florida, was arrested on October 7th on over 300 obscenity-related charges for the sexual content posted on his website. The same day, webmaster Chris Wilson, owner of amateur website NowThatsFuckedUp.com, was raided on charges of obscenity by a local Sheriffs office.

“I think it’s crucial for us to stand up for consensual sadomasochism and other alternative sexual practices,” says Barbara Nitke, fetish photographer. “This is a battle worth fighting, and I hope everyone who can will just censor out the most provocative material from their websites, but keep them up. I also appeal to the lawyers in our community to help us find ways to keep people’s websites up.”

Barbara Nitke and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) have
proactively challenged federal obscenity laws as applied to the Internet, arguing
that obscenity laws based on “local community standards” are too vague and
their existence burdens protected speech, resulting in self-censorship due to
the fear of prosecution. A district court three-judge panel in New York ruled that while Nitke and the NCSF members were at risk, more proof was needed that obscenity laws cause otherwise protected speech to be restrained through acts of self-censorship. The case is currently on appeal to the United States Supreme Court.

“The effect of silencing alternative lifestyle speech was exactly why we brought the lawsuit,” says attorney John Wirenius, lead counsel for NCSF. “The self-censorship we are seeing underscores the importance of supporting our ongoing obscenity challenge.”

To contribute to the appeal of the CDA lawsuit, go to:

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom – www.ncsfreedom.org
Barbara Nitke – www.barbaranitke.com

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