Well, this is it… Monday will be my first day back to school of my senior year. I hope I am ready. Yesterday I picked up books and supplies and I still don’t feel ready. Maybe it’s senioritis already.
Had a hard night last night, didn’t sleep well and stayed up talking and crying with Master till almost 3am. Sometimes things can seem so hard to understand, so hard to correct and just plain hard. I had one of those moments like that last night. My sexual drive has been nill for about 3 weeks now. It is driving me crazy. Master asked if my sexual attraction to him was still there. Oh god is it ever. My heart and mind crave this man, but when I touch him, my body doesn’t react. I’m so confused and frustrated. I’m hoping it is stress related and it will fade soon. We have had the worst summer ever and I can’t say that didn’t have a hand in how I feel. I will have to work through it the best way I know how.
I get to go clothing shopping today online. I need some new jeans as I’ve repaired my only pair 4 times as of today. Not sure what else I’m getting, but I do have a budget to stick to. Master is also getting his computer upgrades so that he can work easier. I’m sure he is very excited about that.