Monthly Archives: July 2005

From bad to worse

Posted on by
Reply

Well, so I have a toothache, and I thank those that left me notes on how to live with it till I can get to a dentist. I’m certain that they will come to good use.

And yet from the title you know that isn’t the only problem that I now face. Sometimes I wonder where all these trials come from… In the past I have injured my back, a slipped disk just above my pelvis. Well, yesterday I was washing my hair in the kitchen sink (I have no shower so I improvise), and as I was bent there, my back gave this really bad feeling and then pop! I was in extreme pain, rinsed quickly and called for Master’s help to lay down. I have been spending most of yesterday and today on my back (and not happy about it either) hoping that I recover soon. If it’s not any better by Monday I will go to the Dr for pharmacy meds.

Master will be finishing the next project this weekend, just in time to pay the rent, thank goodness. Then we won’t be struggling for awhile, as money will be flowing in from places all this next month as I prepare for school and he gets a few more down payments for jobs he has coming up. Yay!

Ok, now… for Blogathon, I am still looking for those that want to support the NCSF. I’m hoping to get $100 by the time of the event and I have a ways to go yet. Please consider donating. http://www.blogathon.org/blogathon.php?campaign&id=178

Thank you.

–luna

Toothache Pain

Posted on by
Reply

Ok, so I had a nice post planned for today but right now my toothache is horrid, so I’d like to know from everyone out there what are some ways to alleviate the pain? I can’t afford the dentist right now, it has to wait a bit, so I need ways to keep it from hurting too badly. Any suggestions would be wonderful.

–luna

Blogathon 2005

Posted on by
Reply

I have just registered with Blogathon 2005!

This is an annual event where bloggers must write entries every half hour for 24 hours on the day of the event to raise money for their favorite charity. I have selected the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. The day of the event is August 6th, 2005 starting at 8am CST.

Blogathon is an excellent idea and I hope that you will pledge to my campaign. The minimum pledge is $1 and it’s a lump sum payment, not ‘every entry’ type. You can pledge to my campaign by clicking the big red banner image in the upper left box.

If you would like to know more about the NCSF: “The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression.” — from their Website.

I would be honored if my regular visitors would support me and my efforts to raise money with blogathon for the NCSF.

–luna

Bring back the passion

Posted on by
Reply

My best friend and I had a wonderful time. I think that while she is still in the state she will be calling me regularly to let me know what she is up to and how she is fairing with her mom, whom she doesn’t get along well with. I really missed her and her son. It was a blast! We went to go see “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” I suggest it to anyone. I loved it, nothing like the first one, so much closer to the book this time and Johnny Depp is wonderful. Go see it!

I need to be harder on myself to exercise. My diet has fallen flat and I know it’s my lack of initiative and motivation. I don’t know what to do to get me to move at all. This really sucks.

_________

Master expressed to me that he is getting bored with our sexual relationship. I find that I am a major cause of this. He has asked me for months now to try to be more spontaneous, to initiate sex and to be more active in foreplay. These things are a challenge but not impossible. I don’t know how I got so lazy in sex, it’s not that I don’t enjoy myself or want to please. I guess with past experiences and the attitude that I have it just seems easier to be passive.

I’m terrible at spontaneity. I prefer planning and organization. I make lists upon lists to get through my day. I like to know what to expect what to do and being spontaneous isn’t really in the plan. I do want to surprise him, but I’m terrible if I don’t plan it. I guess I really don’t listen to impulse. How does one change in that respect? Is there a way to teach myself to be more free with time?

I know why I don’t initiate sex. In past relationships, I was the only one who initiated sex, and it got to be a drag. I don’t do it now, partically because of the feelings I have with the past about this aspect. It’s not that I can’t initiate, it’s that I choose not to. *sigh* I have a lot of work to do.

Active foreplay is another fun one… I am quite a large woman, and I find it very hard work to play *lol* I guess I am just lazy here, there is no real reason why I don’t do more in the bedroom.

I don’t think this is just my problem though. If he is bored with sex, maybe we need to add more variation, do things differently try new things, BDSM play more, add another element, lord knows what else. I’d love some suggestions. This week I’m out of commission because of my monthly visitor almost incompacitates me, but next week I hope to try some relighting of the fire that I know is there, kindled and waiting.

–luna

Best Friend

Posted on by
Reply

I’m wiped. My best friend was here all day and it was wonderful. We went out to lunch and then walked around the mall. I think Master and she got along well. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow, she is staying the night. I missed her son too, it was so great to spend the day with them.

I’m so tired though, I think I’m going to bed early.

–luna

Being Freaky

Posted on by
Reply

Copy this entire list into your blog/journal.
BOLD everything about you that is true.
Leave plain anything that is false about you.
Put an asterisk (*) at the end of false statements you would LIKE to be true.

I am bi-sexual.
My spouse or lover is aware of my orientation.
My spouse or lover has watched me have sex with someone of my gender.*
I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.
I have blindfolded someone else during sex.
I have had sex while watching porn.
I have had sex while surfing porn on the Internet.
I sleep better after sex.
There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.
The bed is NOT my most favorite place to have sex.
I am turned on knowing someone is watching me have sex.*
I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.
I have masturbated for my spouse or lover while on the phone.
I have masturbated for someone over a web cam.
I have had sex over a web cam.
I will have sex with someone I just met if they turn me on.
I have been tied up during sex.
I have had sex with someone who was tied up.
I have dripped wax onto a lover’s body.*
I have had a lover drip wax onto my body.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a leather fetish.*
I have a tickle fetish.
I like being choked during sex.
I have had sex in a burning building.
I like having my nipples squeezed during sex.
I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence.*
I enjoy nudie magazines.
Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget.*
I think PLAYBOY is tame, maybe even boring.
I have clicked on porn links in my email.
I know the difference between girl/girl and lesbian sex in porn.
I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn video.
Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.
Interracial sex turns me on.
I have had interracial sex with someone of my gender.
I want my spouse or lover to have an interracial sex experience.
I want to watch my spouse or lover have an interracial sex experience.
I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex.
I would participate in sex research given the opportunity.
My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.
I currently have a “crush” on someone of the same sex.
I have had sex at my place of employment.
I have had sex with someone from my place of employment.
I have had sex with a former co-worker of my gender.
I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships. (have been in the past)
Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.
I am difficult to live with if I’m not having sex on a regular basis.
I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me.
I have had sex under water.
I have had sex in the snow.
I am in a polyamorous relationship.
I have to have music playing while having sex.
I have had more than ten orgasms in one night.
I have flashed strangers.
I have given sex as a gift.
I have set-up a three-way for my lover.
I stopped during this list to have sex.

FUN!
–luna

A continuation…

Posted on by
Reply

OK, so as I promised, yesterday Master and I had a talk while riding back from a bar meet. He says it is time for him to assert more control, that he isn’t comfortable with how he is with me. He wants to be more dominant and in turn to make me more pliable and submissive for him. It will be a large challenge and I don’t doubt that there will be conflicts as we both adjust.

He believes that if he shows more force and control, that I will adjust and become more pleasing and service him as he wishes. It’s all a process, and I think that now that money isn’t so constricting it is time to focus on us. He wants to work in more playtime; sadly that has been lacking the past few months, but he’s noticably more frisky and I like that.

My feelings on the adjustment are thus:

I’m nervous, as I always struggle against change, no matter how badly I want it to begin with. Those that have been reading this since the beginning know that I am very independent because of my past. I know I want to please him, I know I am not at that place in my role that makes me comfortable with who I am and who I am with Master. I have a lot of growing before I reach that place that will make me feel perfectly in my role.

Master has said that he notices the changes in me and is very proud to know that I want and can change and mold myself to his desires. He brought up an example that I didn’t even think anything of until he placed it in the conversation last night. A few night’s ago, it was really warm and I had the fan on high while I slept and when he comes to bed he usually turns it down as the sound bothers him. I was cranky because of the heat and when I jolted awake after he turned it down I shot out of bed and moved the fan closer, snapping to him that I was hot and then just sat there in front of the fan. I have to admit that I was thinking of some nasty things to say to him, and pondering waiting till he fell asleep and then turning the fan back on. All these things culminated in one moment of, “I don’t want him mad at me.” So I did the only thing that would make us both happy. I moved myself to the sofa and the other fan blowing right on me while I slept. I realize I missed sleeping with Master, but this way we both slept in our ‘ideal’ environments and there was no conflict. Master reminds me that when he first arrived, I would have told him how it was going to be and balked at adjusting at all. So, that in itself is a change. Interesting huh?

So, as far as I’m concerned I think I’m ready for the next difficult step in our development and can’t wait to see which way Master wants me to mold now.

–luna

Thoughts

Posted on by
Reply

Master presented me with some thoughts on the way home from the bar meet tonight. He wants to be more assertive and wants me to be more submissive. So, we will be working on our positions in our relationship. With any changes there will be struggle at first and I know that Master has expressed apprehension in the conflicts that I’m sure will arise as we adjust to newly defined roles and strengths.

It is really late, and I know that Master wanted a detailed blog about my thoughts on this, but I also know he wants me in bed now, so I will continue this on the marrow. Goodnight.

–luna

AC Dreams

Posted on by
Reply

Well, so barring something terrible, Master will get paid tomorrow and we have plans to get a window air conditioner with part of it. We went comparison shopping today and found a 8,000 BTU unit for 142.00 USD at Menards. Yay. I really can’t wait. I don’t know how well it will cool, as a perfect one would be 10,000 to 15,000 BTU for the space we have, but it has to be better than nothing. Master says maybe next year we will get a small unit for the bedroom.

I’ve done some calculating, and in just 5 more weeks I will be going back to school for my last year. I can’t wait, and then yet I can. This summer has been really stressful and I find the continuity of regular schedule to be stress relieving. I hope to have more money this term since Master will continue working and has a few large jobs lined up. Excitement for me is planning out the bills and finding an end in the list of bills. It will be so stress relieving, so celebratory. I just can’t wait, and I’m sure you will know about it when that time happens.

My best friend arrived yesterday for her mom’s birthday surprise, and I will get to see her this weekend probably. I can’t wait. We have a few restaurants we want to go to, she wants to go swimming and well… I dunno what else. It’s been a year, she’s done a lot of exercise, I’m sure she looks great. Her son is so grown up now too.
:-)

–luna

Heat

Posted on by
Reply

This is not going to be a long post. It is so hot in here without a/c that I don’t feel comfortable next to this heat producing box we call a computer. Master and I feel bathed in sweat all the time, the temperature in here is higher than outside and there is no way to balance it. We hope to have money for a window unit next week, but this weekend will be very trying on us. I worry about Master, as he refuses to drink water, so I have a lot of kool-aid on hand for him.

I get to see my best friend next week sometime, she is on the road as I write this. I can’t wait. From the sounds of it, we will be going out to dinner a lot. Next week is also the start of prime Iowa Sweet corn season and I will be buying a lot and freezing it. Frozen it’s good for 6-8 months. :-)

I hope the summer is being more kind to everyone else. I will go wither now…

–luna

Trials and Prayers

Posted on by
Reply

I would just like to share with you that I am having some very hard times here at home and I would like everyone’s thoughts and prayers for a quick turn around so that my nerves will settle, my hands stop twitching and my mind relaxes.

If anyone has gone without nutrition for a period of time, you will know the feeling I’m at right now. If anyone has been so late on a bill you didn’t know what if you were going to have the service when you woke up, you know how I’m feeling. Just pray for me and hope for a swift change in the direction of the winds. Thank you.

–luna

Another website for someone :)

Posted on by
Reply

I have just finished another website for an IRC channel I frequent and I think it turned out wonderfully. If you feel the desire to check it out, it’s at http://www.angelfire.com/amiga2/dsbbwhaven/.
deb, the owner that I did this for is really happy with the finished site, and can’t wait till I get more content from the room to put on there. I had fun doing it, and it only took 2 1/2 days.

I feel bad that I missed the munch this weekend. I hope that we can make it to the bar meet or at least next munch. I know that you already know that money is tight and some things must be sacrificed. I heard my velvet flogger that I donated for the auction got a good fight going for it. I don’t know how much it went for, I never asked. If someone were to ask how much I would charge for one, that’s close to $70. It was a lot of sewing, cutting and major annoyance all around. Can’t wait for next month’s munch. I miss seeing people and getting out of this house.

We just inherited a used couch from downstairs and I am so happy. I’ve not had a couch for 2 years, and it’s nice not to have to sit on the floor. I can’t wait till Master and I have our first movie night where we can actually cuddle up on the couch together. Major romantic atmosphere. :)

My best friend comes back to the state for a visit this weekend. I get to see her sometime next week. It’s so exciting! I haven’t seen her or her son for a year and I have missed them everyday. I don’t know what we are going to do together, but I will just live in the moment and enjoy it all.

–luna

Sensual Massage Tips

Posted on by
Reply

I found this list of sensual massage tips that I found very helpful before I gave Master his massage… which I’m about to do for him tonight. :) Wish me luck in finding that happy place to service him

Sensual Massage Tips

–luna

Wax

Posted on by
Reply

Yes, waxplay was involved. I also had quite a spanking over the bench. My thighs are still hurting.

It’s been so long since we played I’m certain that my tolerance is really low. I feel that I whimped out during the wax part of it and actually safeworded becuase it was just so hot and very very uncomfortable. I know Master says he is fine with it, that his goal was to see how far I could go last night, and he says I was such a good girl and that everything he wanted from me he got. I still feel that I could have pushed myself more than I did.

I’m sure with more play time my tolerance will build. So, this is my update. We had a great time, I know that Master and I both are kinda exhausted and having difficulty focusing today as we recover. I’m going to take a hot bath again tonight and relax. Yes, it was a great time.

–luna

Preparing the mind

Posted on by
Reply

Tonight Master and I will play. It’s been quite some time since we did so and I know we are both needing to connect in this way. As he prepares the bedroom I am working on clearing my headspace and making it more receptive to him. I hope this posting will help me.

Master means everything to me and as I prepare myself quietly to become his most obedient submissive I find it hard to know what to do to get me to that headspace. I think there needs to be some sort of plan so that he and I can get the most out of it. I have been suggested hot baths, candles, reading, meditating… I still don’t know what works for me, but I’ll try anything.

Now I must find the music for this session. I love having a background sound so off I go to find just what I want to hear…

–luna

112050796774674535

Posted on by
Reply
Your love is… by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is…
Your kiss is… breath taking
Your hugs are… to die for
Your eyes… twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is… irresistable
Your smell is… beautiful
Your smile is… entrancing
Your love is… everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Preparing a massage

Posted on by
Reply

Ever wonder how to give a massage when you are terrible at giving them? That’s what I’m wondering right now. For months Master has said he wants a full body massage, and I’m sure he has some big dream that it will be wonderful and I think it will be mediocre at best. I don’t find giving a massage very sensual to me, it’s more work, but I know he is expecting something great, I’ll do my best. I’ll let ya know how it goes.

(I’d also like to point out how long it’s been since we had any BDSM play. I’m itching for some pain play and I know that if I’m a good little submissive, I might get some.)

I know this doesn’t sound very submissive of me. It’s a service, and it should be treated as such, but I’m doing this because he wants it, not because I will get anything out of it. Does that make me a bad person?

He’s watching Jurassic Park 2 right now, I never liked even remotely scary movies, these things create my nightmares at night, and I have a vivid imagination. I’m not looking forward to tonight at all. I hope I can ward off the dreams.

I joined myspace.com. I should be able to post to groups soon. If you have a myspace account, feel free to add me as a friend. my profile URL is: http://www.myspace.com/lunakm

–luna

Work and Play

Posted on by
Reply

Master has good and bad news today. First, he started negotiations on a very large project. We have hopes that he will be asked to code it and can get it done in a reasonable time frame. I’d be happy if he got this job. I don’t know what his thoughts are. The bad news is the previous job that we had has taken far too long and the employer is upset. I don’t know how hard Master is going to have to work to get this all done but he has a lot of work ahead of him.

I have been working on learning database information to go with PHP so that I can help out when I can and do more advanced websites. Master gave me his resume page to do that with. It’s rather interesting that I will be coding Master’s page that will be available for people to decide to hire him, don’t you think?

My best friend comes for a visit in 2 weeks and I am super uber excited to see her. It’s been a year since I saw her and her child last. I hope that it won’t be too uncomfortable for Master that they will be staying overnight at least one night. It’s the least I could do to offer what little floor space I have so that she could stay.

–luna