submissives leaving the lifestyle

So, there was a comment awhile ago, when I wasn’t really with it mentally about how I’ve noticed so many submissives that have blogs I’ve followed are throwing in the towel on the lifestyle. I am baffled at how someone can do that. I’ve had time to think about it and maybe I can understand them a bit better. I’ve made the decision almost 2 years ago to be lifestyle and nothing else. I could never go back to the vanilla life. I left a husband to persue my new life. I changed the way I live, I want to be different. I know I am happier than I was. I embraced the lifestyle with both hands and jumped in deep to be active and happy that way. Trust me, I am. I truely am.

Now these people that have given up give me pause. How can you give up a lifestyle that to me is so a part of me that it’d be like ripping my heart out. So, I had to try to place myself in their shoes. There are 3 kinds of people that I can think of that gives up the lifestyle. They are the players, the ones where real life gets in the way and ruins you, and then there are those that really weren’t heart felt lifestylers. I just can’t see anyone else leaving. (Now, before you start sending me hate mail, I’d like to remind you that this is a blog; not your blog, not a forum, but my blog. I can say whatever I like here, it is my opinion, my thoughts, and there is nothing you can say about it.)

The first person are players. They find themselves overwhelmed with the depth that the lifestyle goes and all they really wanted was the kinky sex. These people can only talk about the kinky sex they’ve had and the fact that their partner did this or that. The blogs are hollow as to their life outside the bedroom or playroom. I find their stories passionate and fun to read, but I don’t feel that they are really in it for the long haul to begin with.

The second person is the ones that let ‘real life’ get the best of them and decide to just not try anymore. This happens more often then you might think, and I feel it is the most common occurence. These people I feel really bad for. If you have been a regular follower of my blog you know that Master and I have had major issues with real life. It has been eating our time, our money, or passion, and our energy. I don’t see us giving up though. We may back off a bit, not play as much, be ‘normal’ for awhile; whatever we need to to deal with what life throws at us. I do have to say that there are those that have medical emergencies, family issues and other more severe things that happen, but in my opinion if you are lifestyle, then nothing can take that out of you. Ever.

The third person is the one I find most often on rarely updated blogs. These are those that think they are D/s oriented, or love BDSM but really they are just normal kinky. Let me explain. These are those that don’t want to be around others in the lifestyle, they hide and say that what they do is D/s but they don’t have common ideals, no beliefs, nothing that really says they mean anything. When you talk to them they are not interested in talking to you about it. I realize there are those that want to share what they find kinky, that they have discovered this new thing that they find really kewl.

These are just my thoughts. I can’t take the lifestyle out of me, and I just can’t fathom others doing it either, if they are truely honest with themselves and what they need/want.

–luna

Possibly related posts:

1. Types of BDSM Relationships
2. Keeping It Real: Fakers and Wannabe Lifestylers
3. Happy Anniversary Dear Blog
4. A Bit of Censorship
5. A Myth Newcomers Should Be Aware Off