The Most Amazing Post Ever

Today I started working on the rules and requirements that I’m supposed to be keeping up with. To be honest, it’s going to be a lot of work but I feel I’m ready. When my chore list arrived in my email (something I set up years ago) I actually opened it and planned to get it done.

I started cleaning the apartment at 9am and finished at 11am. I got sidetracked at least 3 times by the cats, twitter and TV. So I need to work on the distractions but I did cross off all of my chores on the list in every room except the bathroom. The bathroom didn’t get touched. I blame the distractions. So tomorrow my goal is to start with the bathroom since it didn’t get addressed today.

I have other goals to help progress with other things like my knitting and crafts, cooking from scratch preparation. I’ve not accomplished anything on that today. I want to get 30 minutes of knitting everyday. I have a blanket to finish in the next 3 months and I’m barely 25%. The potatoes I wanted to mash and then freeze in portions are still sitting on the counter waiting to be peeled. If I feel motivated I can do it this evening. I must feel motivated :P

Also, I want to get back into reading every day. I really enjoyed it when I was doing it and I have 2 sets of books. First is the Game of Thrones set that Master gave me for our Anniversary this year. The other is a book I need to read to restart reviews on Submissive Guide. It’s been far too long since I’ve done ‘work reading’.

Master has been working hard and I think he likes his new office space. Other than it’s really warm in there due to all the computers running. Which, let me complain a bit about. He has to have the AC up really high and I’m constantly cold now. Ergh. So much for walking around naked. It’s too cold for that nonsense!

Period is kicking my ass this month and has completely screwed up my concentration for much writing for work. I have so much to do this week too. I want to find somewhere else to work away from home and give it a shot this week too. I sometimes need that time away and be productive.

Tomorrow is more of the same and then Wednesday I start exercising again. If I remember I want to post on Wednesday, so see you then!

–lunaKM

Unpacking

I didn’t mean to neglect this space for so long. But as with anything, your priorities shuffle around and obviously mine has been unpacking and adjusting to a new home, new sounds, new places and new people.

It’s not all been easy but things are coming together. Most of the boxes are unpacked, I’ve got plans of where to put most things long term, others are just stuffed in closets to deal with when I get to them. My wish list for decorating and what not is long and we’ll buy things in batches as available money comes in.

I love the balcony. It’s 8 ft by 10 ft so there’s decent space for flower gardening, a seating area and a grill eventually. We might be able to pick,a few things up at summer blow outs and clearance events for next year and my hopes are to be able to make it a place I want to sit from Spring through Fall.

The apartment layout makes it feel roomier and I know in time I’ll be able to make it feel cozy and welcoming. The kitties have both found their favorite spots to nap and also how to get into trouble! I’m child-proofing the bathroom cabinets this weekend to prevent the constant thump thump from little paws open and closing them all night long. They seem less interested in the kitchen cabinets but I might do the one under the sink anyway.

Grocery shopping is difficult. The prices here are quite a bit higher and there is less variety for specific GF items, especially at Aldi where I prefer to start my shopping trips. It’s always frustrating as you get used to new stores anyway since they all have different layouts and food choices. I’m planning to get back into more stockpiling and cooking from scratch to try and trim the budget.

Before we moved here Master and I had a talk about all the things that we’ve let slide in our dynamic and my rules that will have to be picked back up again and Wednesday is the day many of those things have to be up to par. Things like my exercise routine and the cleaning schedule need to return. I agree! I’m also going to get more serious about the food I’m eating and work to reduce carbs again – as that works best for me as a diet program.

I used to be really good at food tracking back in 2005 when I lost 40 lbs before college graduation. I want to pick that back up again now so that I can monitor daily what I’m eating and remind myself just what a portion size is. With any luck I could be down 40 lbs by the end of the year if I work hard at it.

Another change that will happen probably today or tomorrow is that I want a new theme for this blog and I’m going to start writing here more often again. I think it will help me stay on track for the things I need to maintain and improve upon and just talking to myself (and of course you) aides me in this.

So, that’s what’s been going on and the plans thus far.

–lunaKM

We’re Here

Just a short note to say we are here and unpacking boxes almost constantly! I just might share pictures as the place comes together. We’ll see.

–lunaKM

T Minus 3

Wednesday the movers come to pack up our things into the U-Haul. froggy helped with all the cleaning yesterday and I will finish up the kitchen by Tuesday. I think I have about 5 boxes left to pack, so that means what… 10… maybe? Hah!

Today isn’t about moving though. A friend of ours is coming over to watch a classic at the theater. They are playing Monty Python and the Holy Grail on the big screen. It should be a great time. Then we’ll relax, have dinner and prepare for the busy days ahead.

I’ve had headaches almost constantly for a week. It started with a two count of migraines on Tuesday/Wednesday and since then I just can’t shake the moderate pain. I am assuming it’s stress, but Master thinks it might be sinus or allergy related. Either way I’m feeling the effects.

I’m short, snappy and ill tempered. Not a good combination for Master and certainly doesn’t bode well for me. He’s been at the end of his rope more than once in recent days and I hate that I can’t seem to control my responses and behavior when I’m hurting.

In recent developments I’ve come to realize that I’m not polyamorous at all. I’m monogamous. The experiment failed for me, but I think I can adapt to an open relationship as long as things aren’t in my face.  Too much of the overt sexual attention and behavior got to me and got me in a bad way. I admit there were moments I wanted Master to break things off with froggy because it was very painful.

I’m still afraid of the new move and how things will have to adjust to work with the new way I need things to work so that I can continue to be a happy wife and slave and he can still have froggy. Master knows I’m afraid and he can do nothing but keep reassuring me that he loves me and that I’m his world and he’s not going anywhere. Things I know, but just don’t quiet the fears in my head.

Fears that I’ll be lonely, feeling of abandonment or that I’m unimportant. Afraid I don’t please him enough and that he can just walk across the street to get his needs met instead of talking to me about it. Loss of intimate me and him times. Because in my head she’ll always be there.

I realize a lot of this is insecurity and very irrational thoughts, but I’ve never been told that how I feel is wrong. Because it isn’t. At least I feel. And can talk about it. Usually.

So, I’m going to explore this new adventure carefully. Tip-toe if you like. I’ve got a lot of self-work to do also once we move and I know the rules will be strictly enforced to help get my head on where it should be. He’s let is slide too far, he says. I’ve abused the freedoms.

And I know, that after a bit of fighting, I’ll feel secure in my place because he’s watching out for me, caring for me and making sure my dreams are fulfilled. Because that is who he is. A loving caring provider. My world. My forever love. Master.

–lunaKM

In Just 20 Days

Ask me, do I have the apartment packed up yet?

Have I notified everyone of the move that needs to be told yet? Have I followed up on the movers and the new apartment manager, who I haven’t heard anything of since they took our signed lease and deposit in May?

Do I feel ready for the move yet?

And my answer would be no, no and no.

In just 20 days I’ll be moving from a town that I really enjoy, to a town I don’t know. Of course that’s how a move like this usually works and I realize that I’ll find things to do and people to see in the new town also. But that nagging though in the back of my mind is that we are only moving for one thing. Or rather, one person. Froggy.

So what happens if things go south for her and Master? I’m not saying it will, but there are always possibilities. Then there will be no reason to have moved at all. I can only hope we have some of our debt paid off that we want to accomplish so that our next move will be into a house.

I’m trying to be optimistic here. There is a BDSM community that I used to be a part of and will rejoin to see how it is now. I’m going to be bringing my Sub Forum to the area so I know I’ll be meeting people and helping submissives just as I currently do. I will likely enjoy our new apartment once I’ve moved things into it and claimed it as mine. I’m sure I’ll find things to enjoy about the new place – I just haven’t looked into it.

Really I’m living with ghosts, to be honest. This town has a lot of really happy memories for me. It was the town I had my first apartment in, when I was on my own, after flunking out of college, and doing well for myself.

This apartment is the last place I held Zeus and I can still see him running down the hall and looking out the balcony window. I won’t have those places to look when we move to imagine him. It’s been a year and I still cry over him. We leave and I feel like I’m leaving him behind. And maybe it’s time….

I’ve made a lot of friends here that I won’t be able to see as frequently, if at all. The distance isn’t really something that makes visits easy.

My mother will now be 2 hours away instead of 30 mins. She doesn’t have the best health and she’s naive in a lot of things. I feel like I have to watch out for her as best I can. Her other children don’t visit her or appear to care as much, which is sad.

It’s so stupid but these thoughts keep running around causing stress and doubt. I have to get them off my chest. This is my place to do it so you get to run around in my weird thoughts too.

–lunaKM