I’m doing a bit better now that there has been some time to think about things and to really connect with Master. There’s been a lot of talking and expressing ourselves and that always helps me see things differently. The comments I got were a lot what I expected. I’m emotional and my mind doesn’t form thoughts well when I’m upset so when I write I don’t convey things as clearly. I’m also make Master look like a douchebag and he really isn’t.
He told me that Joy described how he sees poly perfectly and I have to admit that I don’t feel like less of a person all the time. In moments of weakness and jealousy I get overly possessive of his time and we’d just been through a rough time during Mischief in May that I was still recovering from. I’m not talking about what happened then as it’s not really my story to tell. Needless to say it was stressful.
I really have no major complaints about how Master cares for me. Sometimes I wish he was monogamous or would treat me like when we were monogamous. But that’s no longer possible. Yes he likely stretches himself thin on occasion, especially when all three of us are having emotional issues at the same time like last Thursday. That’s right. I wasn’t the only one having a melt down which explains some of why he refused to halt all communication with the others.
I got a few hours of private time with him. It was nice.
Since then we’ve been able to reconnect and it’s been great. Times like this I forget why I was mad or felt unimportant to begin with. I guess we’ll have to keep talking and keep working through my issues.